Golden5 Member Profile

...See more This is my first post on here so I’m just gonna word vomit a bit. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for the last 10 years or so, and my life never seems to work out how I hope especially the last couple years. In the last 2 years my relationship of 6 years ending with them cheating on me over and over before I left, then right after my mom got diagnosed with a terminal cancer. I didn’t show up to work or communicate for like 3 weeks after finding out so I got fired, which I understand why but it didn’t make me feel any better just disappointed in myself for another failure. So I leave my ex and move in with my brother and get a random job, that’s when I started to heavily rely on alcohol to cope with everyday stuff. It even got so bad I drank at work a couple times because I felt like my life was so off track it didn’t matter what I did. I’ll speed up the rest, I left my brothers house because I didn’t like how it enabled my drinking so much, I’m living with a new boyfriend who is pressuring me to marry after only dating for 6 months but I don’t feel ready so I can kind of see where that’s heading. So here I am not sure where to live, how to make my next moves for my career or education, and feeling like time just slips by each day with me accomplishing nothing. I had such big dreams when I was younger, it disappoints me every day to live in the reality I’m in. I don’t know if I’m asking for advice or guidance or just wanted to put it out there so it wasn’t all so loud in my head, but thanks for listening.

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