Feeling overwhelmed and lost
This is my first post on here so I’m just gonna word vomit a bit. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for the last 10 years or so, and my life never seems to work out how I hope especially the last couple years. In the last 2 years my relationship of 6 years ending with them cheating on me over and over before I left, then right after my mom got diagnosed with a terminal cancer. I didn’t show up to work or communicate for like 3 weeks after finding out so I got fired, which I understand why but it didn’t make me feel any better just disappointed in myself for another failure. So I leave my ex and move in with my brother and get a random job, that’s when I started to heavily rely on alcohol to cope with everyday stuff. It even got so bad I drank at work a couple times because I felt like my life was so off track it didn’t matter what I did. I’ll speed up the rest, I left my brothers house because I didn’t like how it enabled my drinking so much, I’m living with a new boyfriend who is pressuring me to marry after only dating for 6 months but I don’t feel ready so I can kind of see where that’s heading. So here I am not sure where to live, how to make my next moves for my career or education, and feeling like time just slips by each day with me accomplishing nothing. I had such big dreams when I was younger, it disappoints me every day to live in the reality I’m in. I don’t know if I’m asking for advice or guidance or just wanted to put it out there so it wasn’t all so loud in my head, but thanks for listening.
@Golden5
You are not alone.
For me, my life... all of it. Up to 18. Was just darkness, really worse and worse and there is so much to it... but at the end of those dark years I was a step from suicide.
Now everything changed.
There is hope. There is hope. Search and seek, you shall find.
@Golden5
You are not alone. When things spiral we sometimes are not making the best choices... i am guessing your ex and you had issues before the cheating.... while I am truly sorry about the loss of your mom do you think calling or explaining before just not showing up would have changed your job outcome.?
WE cannot change others or situations we have control over how we do things and respond. i can tell you know this as you saw the alcohol use could become a bigger problem ... did you drink on random job .. hoping to be caught ? I agree that 6 months may be too soon to marry some new BF it almost sounds like you are jumping to new situations to avoid starting over.
You said you had hopes and dreams when young what stopped you? you are older sometimes our view of things change what would you want to do? hope with out work towards something rarely works out.
@Golden5, thanks for sharing! Take a deep breath! You can get through all of this! You are strong and awesome and can do it! Try to stay positive, advocate for yourself, and keep moving forward however you can, even if only millimeters at a time!