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GoldenRuleJG
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L Pinnacle 6
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Number of ratings251 Number of reviews228 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceNov 21, 2019 Last activein last week GenderFemale PathStep 914 People helped1,713 Chats6,116 Group support chats1,357 Listener group chats1,457 Forum posts2,469 Forum upvotes4,211
Bio

FEMALE LISTENER 


There are awesome community sessions which are scheduled in various rooms. You can check them out here: 7 Cups Community Calendar


Please read below about what I try to be as a listener:




Although i am not a professional therapist I try to apply my knowledge of psychology on stuff (p.s. - Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Psychology completed. YAY 🧡🤩). I aim to be unbiased yet compassionate. Not a fairy godmother. If all the above sounds good let me know if you want a chat. 


 When the circle near my profile pic is green that means I’m available to talk to you now. If you leave me a message and I don't respond this can because im busy (orange circle) or because im offline (red circle). 




*1 hr duration chats *

Bright7cups former amazing twinning buddy - thank you ❤️



Recent forum posts
Gratitude and Acceptance - Do they co-exist?
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
April 7th
...See more Good evening all, Hope the week has been one that is reflective 💛 Reflecting on communication and relationships in general I’ve been asking myself is there really any gratitude without acceptance? We be grateful for unfavourable things that have happened to us. Let’s say someone was rude to you or ignored you we may accept the position that they did not notice you - it wasn’t a purposeful thing. Or we may accept the position that they don’t like you. You may have keep a relationship with God: *Be grateful for whatever has been given to you *Be grateful that you’ve had moments where you have failed - this will build your character in some way *Be grateful that you are forgiven - this may help you learn to forgive *Be grateful for the desire to not lean on what you understand and go by a direction much better than yourself - this may help you realise your own ways aren’t the highest ways (it’s good to have a protector) *Be grateful that every time you fall you do get back up - you’re wonderfully made You may even ask what’s the point of this post? You may not. You may believe. You may not believe. What brought me to write this? A lovely member shared we are loved by god. We are loved. You may feel furious after reading this or at peace. Whatever it is are you grateful and accepting for whatever emotion is radiated? Questions to reflect on: * Should we be grateful for the tests we go through in life? * How often do you practice gratitude? * Do feel safer and more calm when you lean not on your own understanding or feel less safe ? * Name three things you are grateful for today ? * Is there gratitude without acceptance? * Im a rational or emotional thinker - which one are you ? Tagging: @VerseArt, @ASilentObserver , @Hope, @DanCat1128, @communicativePond1728, @Fristo,@AnnaSilverberg, @ChillingRain, @Silverstar, @heathermarie95, @YourCaringConfidant, @Mya000, @Optimisticempath, @SpacedOutSun, @Georginahowe, @ParkerBarker
Compliments and Triggers
Trauma Support / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
March 21st
...See more Compliments and Triggers - @GoldenRuleJG Hello everyone,  Noticing that others have opposing reactions to compliments provoked me to write this forum piece as well as paying visits to discussions in the trauma community room. I look forward to sharing my written piece below with you. I'm open to hearing everyone's thoughts on the topic. 🙂 Can’t you take a compliment? Who would be offended by a compliment you may ask? Shouldn't compliments make people feel good about themselves and boost self-esteem? People who have gone through any kind of trauma may find compliments to be objectifying in nature or not genuine. Being deprived of compliments as a child can make oneself question if the compliments have any agenda behind them.  Compliments that are back-handed may be racially  stereotyped and like comparative compliments can make one feel less than or have anxiety in relation to being put on a pedestal. The individual may then think so now I  have to be this pretty, smart, bubbly, outgoing all the time, 24/7. There is a fear of giving someone too high of an identity in a particular area..  Seven Examples of how the triggering types of compliments can be framed in a less triggering way: Below is a break-down on the examples of compliments that individuals can find uncomfortable:  * Race related: “For a person from this race/ethnic group you are attractive/intelligent” , “You are a credit to your race” , “You are so exotic” This doesn’t at all make the individual feel flattered by the compliment and highlights the hostility passively as well as the fetishism towards a certain group of people.  An alternative could just be to exclude the group from the compliment and exclude the focus that the person isn’t of western culture: “I find it attractive that you…say, do this, have (compliment distinct features not body parts - could be that they have dimples)  * Appearance related: “This dress/shirt looks great on you”  For those who have experienced SA generally this compliment will make them feel objectified and make them think “oh so you only see my as someone with a body and not a heart” Make it genuine drawing attention to the individuals values or personality:  “This shirt compliments your fun personality” * Rare occasion based: “You look great today” If an individual wasn’t used to praise as a kid or received negative feedback on their body image they may retort with “So I did not look great yesterday?” This “in the moment”, present terminology may leave them feeling like they don't put in effort in their outer presentation in general.   An alternative could be “That’s a well-put together outfit” You can appreciate the style and color, pattern co-ordination of an outfit someone is wearing.  * Comparative compliments: “You are so much smarter than x,y,z” “you look like this celeb (considered attractive) Comparative compliments can make the individual feel like they are being put on a pedestal and make them more prone to perfectionistic tendencies. They may not even find the celeb you are comparing their looks to as attractive in their own eyes although this celeb is  in the top 10 list of most attractive actor/actress (e.g. Aishwariya Rai). Always wanting to stand out can be draining!  An alternative could be to just individualize the compliment “You worked very hard on this assessment and the results you’ve received from the hard work you’ve put in are terrific”, “This color really compliments your eyes” * Age based compliments: “For this age you look amazing” Age based compliments can be exhausting for someone. Why can’t it just be that I look healthy? Age shouldn't stop anyone from wanting to feel their best. “What an amazing fresh hairstyle you’ve got!” * The Romantic vibes compliment: “You’re beautiful” This feedback may be flattering for some: it could be complimentary towards someone's personality, quirks or action (e.g. lets say someone who doesn't express themselves very well getting told they are beautiful because for the first time they show their raw, vulnerable emotions on their face). Compliments can potentially feel safe if you have a deep relationship and mutual respect.  In general this compliment can elicit a strong reaction if the person sharing the compliment is in the receiver's eyes attractive or unattractive. They may think “So I’m only important because of my looks” or “Stay away - I’m not interested in you romantically.” If this compliment was being said to a male they may find the connotation feminine and embarrassing if they are more rooted in their masculine side.  “You look beautiful”, “You look handsome”, “You are a beautiful communicator. I appreciate talking to you, you make me really interested in the topic you just talked about”  * Term of endearment: “Love, Honey, Darling, Sweetheart” Some people can view these terms of endearment as cute pet names they would use with significant others. They may even find it ok or appropriate if someone of their grandfather or grandmother's age use this as it feels affectionate. These might be terms so rooted in the culture the individual lives in that they may not mind if called these terms of endearment in Southern America or London.  Those who have gone through trauma may feel patronized hearing those terms or if we look at it from a gender perspective because of terrible interactions with the opposite or same sex, some men and women can feel less than.  Use the person's name when you give praise: “I love your new hair color Alex!” For any compliments to be on the safe side, be neutral and use less absolute terms to give compliments “must”, “need”, “always”, “perfect” and give evidence on why you are giving them the compliment and clear intent behind why. Let them know they are a work in progress 🙂 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This post was written by a member of the Trauma Sub-Community Writing Team. You can find a masterpost with all the posts of this team linked here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/General_2433/MasterpostPostsoftheTraumaSupportWritingTeam_302010/] If you want to join the team, please apply here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScvQvG68iPbXl6ZNfZzxs4nYMAcP5RXCp8Ngt7gNPmJ0qnahw/viewform]. Also, please comment if you want to be tagged in future posts. Many thanks. Credits and appreciation to: @auidenta: thank you for your valuable  feedback, you were encouraging 🙂 @InsightfulPhoenix: thank you for your trauma discussions - they helped me get to know about where and whom my ideas can be shared with 🙂 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Putting the Connect in Connections
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
February 19th
...See more Hello all,  Hope everyone is managing their week well and unashamed to ask for help wherever needed. :)  🌻To ask for help and be vulnerable takes courage - its a reflection of growing in the discomfort 🌻You may ask yourself why isn't there a connection. What am I doing wrong? Or you may say its all them?  🌻They aren't seeing my personality, they want to know if I'm nice - out with supporting others sometimes no matter how hard or little one tries, the connection may not be there for whatever reason.  🌻ONE THING THAT CAN DEFINITELY BE CONNECTED ON IS THAT EVERYONE WANTS SECURITY IN SOME WAY AND TO FEEL IMPORTANT 🌻 🌻 WE ALL ARE - WHETHER IT BE THE CONVENTIONAL WAY OR THE UNCONVENTIONAL WAY- WHETHER PEOPLE TELL YOU OR NOT - YOU DO MATTER AS MUCH AS OTHERS DO. ONE DOESNT SPARKLE WITHOUT THE OTHER AND VICE VERSA 🌻 Tagging: @VerseArt, @Tinywhisper11, @ASilentObserver, @SoulfullyAButterfly, @Hope, @CompassionateArrow, @WeEarth, @MindfulJourney22, @SilverSeastar Please feel welcome to tag anyone you feel may need this or be interested 👍
Reminders of the positives you do have
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
February 27th
...See more ⭐️✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨⭐️ Hi folks, To those feeling not so positive. You are feeling all the dominoes have fallen over unexpectedly. Just as much as you fall , there are reminders of things to get up for. Get up for a friend, family member, children, to face the day, to say prayers, sing a song, go for a walk. With the negative there is the positive - there will be negatives that are blessings in disguise. What do you get up for and what’s the positives even if tiny they are important too? Tagging: @VerseArt, @ASilentObserver, @Tinywhisper11, @Fristo, @Hope, @MelodyoftheOcean sorry for missing out on anyone - welcome to tag those you feel would be interested ⭐️✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨⭐️
Merry Xmas everyone - An Xmas card for you
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
December 27th, 2023
...See more Seasons Greetings everyone - Rejoice in happiness/ acceptance , good wishes for you and your family , the poor and sick and many others..🎄❤️ 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 Wishing you all a Christmas with meaning and the hope for a fulfilling new year. You may spend your time alone today or with family - yet I wish you peace and this time of day to process all that’s went on. You may pull crackers , have your pretty Xmas tree up. Sends warmest wishes to all💙💙 7 cups has given me much to learn from - from fantastic listeners and members who have made a huge difference with their contributions and support - I thank you dearly ❤️💙 I look forward to 2024! 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 tagging: @VerseArt, @Fristo, @CallumKing2000, @tinyWhisper11, @Sunisshinningandsoareyou, @Bubbles2025 Many more welcome to be tagged - sorry to anyone I missed out!!
messages of encouragement
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
January 24th
...See more If you are feeling upset or sad messages I hope these messages uplift you: * Just because their is a end doesn't mean there is a new beginning *Things did not work out, you stuck to your values and that's what matters  * A smile and a how are you - isn't it great that someone recognised and asked? Someone was curious about you and that slight smile came on your face. They did not even need to know you to ask you.  What will you take with you when this year ends? Lets hope the festive season brings warmth, joy and those needed moments of reflection. 🎄 @VerseArt, @LoveLilly, @2fishie, @DanCat1128, @schrodingerscatt, @helpfulKiwi4855 @SilentMirror, @shazzn, @SoftCloud1111 Sorry to anyone I missed out!!! Welcome to tag others <3
Insights: Responding and Not reacting
Positivity & Gratitude / by GoldenRuleJG
Last post
November 8th, 2023
...See more Hey all, Hope all is good :) Everyone in their life I’m sure has been familiar with times they have reacted rather than responded towards someone outwardly having a go at them. We can wonder what causes us to be so reactive? *Past experiences and not knowing what our triggers are, *How people say things. “You did this..”,”If only…” *Someone sharing their religion or someone saying they don’t believe in god Your brain can either fight threat, flee from threat , freeze from threat or pretend it doesn’t exist - it’s not a conscious choice we make but we can ask what makes us feel safe in the moment (music, gripping a stress ball). Hate cannot defeat hate but love can maybe soften up the hate; whether people think it’s fake or genuine the love you provide it’s their decision and a reflection of their own experiences they need to work on like every other person. Lets give ourselves and them grace - sometimes our words are clumsy; they are zig saggy and not in one line very much like emotions when we aren’t in complete control. We tell ourselves others need to rethink their word choice. But what about us? Did we respond with as much sensitivity , honesty and validation ? ❤️ A healthier end is in responding and not reacting; don’t get me wrong sometimes we all will react if we are feeling picked on and unsupported. A helpful motto for me has been; You can control your own thoughts, reactions and behaviour (with awareness , humility , open mind) but not how others will react to you. How did you feel when you did react to negativity whether it’s perceived or actual ? How did you feel when you responded instead of reacts to negativity whether it be perceived or actual? We all have room to grow even no matter if we are seen as handling situations well or not.
Feedback & Reviews
The best listener on the app
Such a good and kind person. Thank u so much for listening and helping! 💐
Very kind and patient. Really knowledgable and compassionate.
Very helpful and keen listener so supportive
Very polite, actually listens & asks the right questions. A person whom you can have a REAL dialogue with. Thank you again for the talk! - Kind
She's knowledgeable and knows exactly what to say to you. Thank you Jas, for being there the moment I desperately needed someone to lean on.
Kind person helping me
great sweet caring kind listener
Thoughtful and caring listener. Really took time to understand the issues I was facing. They saw my in a group chat struggling and reached out. Also has great boundaries!
patient
It was amazing speaking with her. She stayed with me for a long time, listened to my story intently. She understood what I really needed to do. Thanks, Golden
Awesome listener!
Chat was very helpful, listener asked good questions/cared... thanks
She is amazing
A nice person who provides an emotional support
Good listener, great at paraphrasing and validating.
An amazing listener.. does everything well. She is an awesome friend.
Easy to talk with and kind
Kind and patient listener
Very responsive and nice
Nice listener
Shows genuine willingness to care and help
Amazing person to speak to and very wise
Very nice and helpful
Jas is an awesome listener!!!
Let me pour out my feelings and made me feel validated
She is a good listener.
Good Listener!
Fabulous listener!
Such a lovely person!
thanks for chatting with me
I feel seen and heard with them. Very kind.
Loved it helped me through
What a lovely listener. They made me feel so supported and heard when I was feeling really lost and overwhelmed. Helped me to feel a little less alone in this world. 10/10 would recommend
I was very nervous and she made me feel that what I was sharing was ok
Is a good listener and gave useful resources
Very understanding, knows her limits of help, I highly recommend her
Great, she was very attentive
Amazing listener, have lot of patience,compassion, empathy and very supportive ❤
So helpful, very understanding
Nice Listener. His words makes sense to me. She/He listens witj patience. Looking forward for more conversation with them. Will learn a lot
So far nice listener
Extremely kind, and attentive
Jas is a great listener.
She's helpful. I felt heard and she was able to point out my issues.
Best listener ever I got keep it up❤
Very caring, tries to get you to explore things
Nice listener who gave me great support during time of need.
GoldenRule is a wonderful listener. Not only listening, but providing little pieces of information to help guide me into realizing things. I am so grateful she listened to me
Great listener. She made me feel better about myself.
Very kind and helpful
REALLY GREAT SO FAR😀😀😀
Kind and nice listener
Was really empathetic and lent a ear
Has really good insight and asked good questions. Thank you!
She is super nice. Kept me distracted for a while.
Asks the right questions to make sure he/she understood correctly, responds quickly and is very caring and helpful.
Amazing human being. Thank you
Kind and helpful person.
Really kind and helped me
She's a very good listener
Good thank you very much
Very understanding! lovely session
Very caring and sweet
A good listener
Attentive and resourceful.
good nice gave resources
You're a smart person... Thank for your questions.
terrific thanks so much, great listening
Was s Good listener
Very insightful.
Amazing person. A true active listener. Empathetic and compassionate. Really tries to get to the heart of your needs and help you address them.
Great listener!
very caring and insightful listener. took the time to understand and not judge, was accommodating and not pushing and very helpful
They were very understanding
Great listener
Thank you for listening to me
Objective and cautious to respect boundaries
A really good listener and lovely gal. Really breaks the problem down x
Very kind and helpful
She asks the right questions in terms of putting things into perspective. Helped me get my thoughts straight. I appreciate how invested she was in the conversation.
she asked great questions and really listened
Very kind and helpful
they were so nice and helped me a lot! they know exactly what to do and how to help you. totally recommend to speak to them! ❤️
Kind, asks the right questions, understanding and empathetic.
She really cares.
She is awesome , smart and kind
great and empathetic listener
Insightful and informative
felt good to talk to someone
offered a new perspective
Great listener really helped
They are very kind and patient
easy to chat with
Amazing, very knowledgeable and helpful
it was pretty great. thank you. talking to you made me reflect my own thoughts and be patient w things. hope u have a nice day
Wise and listens and offers solutions
She’s easy to talk to and gives me her knowledge of what’s happening and it helps me.
I like her she's cute honest and just perfect
They were so nice and a great listener! They listened to me while also providing insight and asking a lot of questions. Loved our chat!
Badges & Awards
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