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Grisseya
1 190 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceMarch 26, 2025
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This is fine?
Relationship Stress / by Grisseya
Last post
 October 14th, 2025
...See more I've been dating a guy for six months, but our relationship doesn't feel romantic; it feels like a collaboration between two people over 30 who are single and dating simply to have someone else "fill that space," to just keep the relationship going. I really don't like it, and I understand that I don't love him; it's just how it really happened that we're together. At first, I was invested in it all, I tried, but my partner is selfish (? I guess...). Maybe it's not for me to judge, but let me explain. For those six months, I visited him every weekend in a different city, wrote a ton of messages, took a huge number of different photos so I'd have something to show and tell him, and so on. In the summer, I still struggled to find a time to meet or an excuse to text. I gave him various surprises, wrote letters, even drew him. He did nothing during this time. He came to me himself only ONCE. Once, damn it. He never courted me like a girlfriend. He always makes physical advances, although he knows it doesn't make me particularly comfortable. I feel like I just don't know him. He tells me very little, even though we talk every day. But despite this, he truly loves me. He cried twice when I made him a surprise. I often imagined us together in the future. But in those moments, while he was dreaming, I imagined this picture: he's content and doesn't invest in me at all, and I... well, I'm working hard for three without any effort, attention, or any sense of love. We tried to talk, and the man sometimes even agreed with me, but it never led to anything. I'm just tired of explaining to the man how he should treat me. God, how so. It's weird, I don't know... I don't know what to do. We should have broken up this summer, but then I got scared, and now I've only become even more attached to him... Can you tell me from the outside, what does this look like? Maybe you have some advice?
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I'm panicking, even though I'm outwardly calm
ADHD Support / by Grisseya
Last post
 November 6th, 2025
...See more I don't know why I decided to write here. Actually, I'm from Belarus and English is difficult for me (I'm writing this text through a translator, although I can read the responses without it). I guess it's just extreme desperation. I can't share what's in my head with anyone for certain reasons. And the only place where I can write and where no one knows me is here... I have a debt from one training program in a profession where I failed. I plan to try again when I feel I can handle it all mentally and can invest both my heart and money, which is also quite important. But. I'm studying at a medical school (for free). I work at a bakery as a barista-baker. Plus, there are the fruits of that same unsuccessful training (spoiler: the job title is blogger manager). I'm simply inspiring to the point of *** about this life, this diversity, this abundance of information. But I'm so tired. I want to study properly, but I don't have time because of work. I want to take the training on the new final menu (it's basically a must), but the first class on the right day is medical biology, and I already have poor grades in it and simply cannot skip it. I might have problems with the management again, since I return to the dorm late. I rarely communicate with my family, even though I love them very much, because I don't have enough time. The same with friends. I can't quit my job yet because I need to pay off my debt. It will take two months. I have to survive these two months, just until December, until the New Year. Then I will start all over again, anew. I feel like a shallow person. I smoke, I don't have enough money, I'm pressed for time, I don't have the moral resources to study well (I used to always be an excellent student). I don't know how to express everything that's in my head, but it's disgusting at times. Inside, I'm simply panicking, but on the outside, I'm smiling and working like a horse. I'm used to always taking a hit, always managing on my own, taking responsibility. I understand that a couple of months isn't so bad, and some people can't get their lives together for years. But why the *** am I, at 17, doing all this, working like crazy, trying so hard? And someone else is simply wealthy, they've been sent to all sorts of classes since childhood, they're now a fully-fledged, charismatic person, with tons of time and resources for studying, and so on. And meanwhile, I just want to be somewhere underground or feel pain, to punish myself for my bad thoughts. Lord, I don't even know if even one living soul will see this, or if it will remain somewhere in my drafts or just be swallowed up by the internet. But if anyone hears this, I'll keep quiet, please help..
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