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HaScotty
1 514 M Embraced 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2025 Member sinceJune 21, 2025
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“you are surrounding all my surroundings, sounding down the mountain of my left side brain”

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Am i going delusional ?
General Support / by HaScotty
Last post
 July 1st, 2025
...See more Hi i’m a 22 y/o male. So i’ve been overthinking a lot. Like bad, I just don’t know why I keep having these deep thoughts of philosophical questions or “theories”. I keep ruminating about them on and on and on, it started off with video games because I play a lot of video games. It got to the point where I thought we are in a video game and i gained like some kinda self awareness that I was in a game then it shifted into movies and I kid you not I thought we were a Ai image or video. Idk how it got to that point. I keep telling myself it’s my own mind and feelings but no, just the constant thoughts and feeling really disconnected from my own body and feelings got me thinking too much. I’m really having issues with putting a fine line in between what’s really real or not like how I used to 2 months ago, I feel like at this point I can’t really say i’m real because of my own thoughts like I brainwashed or convinced myself into thinking that. I’m having really bad dpdr feelings like really testing how much I can dissociate myself and it’s not fun because everyday it feels like i’m high, like i’m lightheaded or dizzy. Especially when I sleep, I feel like i’m falling endlessly and my thinking just feels like a fast loop idk. I’m scared of thinking this and convincing myself, i’m really dizzy atm typing this. I spent too much time on my phone now since i’ve been like this like I feel like it helps me. When I’m in my regular state of mind like logically, i’ll tell myself that it’s all in my head and I know it is and I always wonder how I got so far into that thinking. Like I know what is real because literally like I was saying before I didn’t have issues like this a couple months back because I was living life I was happy. I felt connected…now i’m scared to return to that because of what i think now. I feel like we’re in sum alternate reality now and my feelings and thoughts are pointless because all this is not real in my pov…like that feeling of realness and my old self is being buried by these thoughts. Idk if i’m going crazy or im gonna go crazy with these delusional thoughts because im so self aware of it because when I think this I kinda tell myself in my mind that if I keep thinking this i’m gonna go insane. Or disconnect from reality, im a EMT so i seen delusional people who say the outrageous things..idk i dont drink or do drugs, thats what im scared of because i dont wanna turn into those behaviors or worst of all suicide. Because my mind right now is thinking i’m an alternate being in an alternate reality, and there is no point in anything anymore like it’s all hopeless. If i keep thinking that and keep going this way, im afraid i might just say f it and go down that road. It’s honestly draining and many counselors or people ik that specialize in mental health always tell me im super aware and i know i need help and they tell me im heading the right direction but it doesn’t feel like that especially with my thoughts. I don’t express these feelings because i dont wanna panic expressing them but then again everyday it’s a war in my head. It’s like this everyday like one part of my day is okay like my normal thoughts are there and i see hope and this is just me on another mental health journey, then again the second part of my day is filled with thoughts of unrealness and im a alternate soulless person, questioning life itself and sometimes I think like who am i or what is this experience and I experiencing even though I know that this is life and there is only 1 life…Idk like i said my mind is spiraling literally everyday and im terrified.
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Am I going insane?
20 & Over / by HaScotty
Last post
 July 5th, 2025
...See more Hi i’m a 22 y/o male. So i’ve been overthinking a lot. Like bad, I just don’t know why I keep having these deep thoughts of philosophical questions or “theories”. I keep ruminating about them on and on and on, it started off with video games because I play a lot of video games. It got to the point where I thought we are in a video game and i gained like some kinda self awareness that I was in a game then it shifted into movies and I kid you not I thought we were a Ai image or video. Idk how it got to that point. I keep telling myself it’s my own mind and feelings but no, just the constant thoughts and feeling really disconnected from my own body and feelings got me thinking too much. I’m really having issues with putting a fine line in between what’s really real or not like how I used to 2 months ago, I feel like at this point I can’t really say i’m real because of my own thoughts like I brainwashed or convinced myself into thinking that. I’m having really bad dpdr feelings like really testing how much I can dissociate myself and it’s not fun because everyday it feels like i’m high, like i’m lightheaded or dizzy. Especially when I sleep, I feel like i’m falling endlessly and my thinking just feels like a fast loop idk. I’m scared of thinking this and convincing myself, i’m really dizzy atm typing this. I spent too much time on my phone now since i’ve been like this like I feel like it helps me. When I’m in my regular state of mind like logically, i’ll tell myself that it’s all in my head and I know it is and I always wonder how I got so far into that thinking. Like I know what is real because literally like I was saying before I didn’t have issues like this a couple months back because I was living life I was happy. I felt connected…now i’m scared to return to that because of what i think now. I feel like we’re in sum alternate reality now and my feelings and thoughts are pointless because all this is not real in my pov…like that feeling of realness and my old self is being buried by these thoughts. Idk if i’m going crazy or im gonna go crazy with these delusional thoughts because im so self aware of it because when I think this I kinda tell myself in my mind that if I keep thinking this i’m gonna go insane. Or disconnect from reality, im a EMT so i seen delusional people who say the outrageous things..idk i dont drink or do drugs, thats what im scared of because i dont wanna turn into those behaviors or worst of all suicide. Because my mind right now is thinking i’m an alternate being in an alternate reality, and there is no point in anything anymore like it’s all hopeless. If i keep thinking that and keep going this way, im afraid i might just say f it and go down that road. It’s honestly draining and many counselors or people ik that specialize in mental health always tell me im super aware and i know i need help and they tell me im heading the right direction but it doesn’t feel like that especially with my thoughts. I don’t express these feelings because i dont wanna panic expressing them but then again everyday it’s a war in my head. It’s like this everyday like one part of my day is okay like my normal thoughts are there and i see hope and this is just me on another mental health journey, then again the second part of my day is filled with thoughts of unrealness and im a alternate soulless person, questioning life itself and sometimes I think like who am i or what is this experience and I experiencing even though I know that this is life and there is only 1 life…Idk like i said my mind is spiraling literally everyday and im terrified.
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Anxiety Issues (Need Help)
General Support / by HaScotty
Last post
 June 24th, 2025
...See more So I grew up with anxiety basically my whole life. Due to traumatic issues in the past, I lost my father at a very young age and I had to understand what death was. After my fathers passing my family had a huge fight over my father’s money. Since he only had two sons which was me and my little bro, we were kinda like the gems to our family. It was so messed up it got to the point where I was brainwashed by my own mother that my dads mom side of the family were evil witch-crafters and they wanted to take me away from my mom. I think I suffered from Dpdr because I remember watching cartoons and my mind as a child thought that what if were not real or were a cartoon or video game. That was my #1 trigger and I would depersonalize or dissociate or whatever and I would jump around and panic, my mom and family members would have to calm me down and i’ll be grounded or back in my normal self. I had a support system from my older half siblings and my mom but I saw a lot of trauma due to alcohol usage. Like a lot of trauma from alcohol, you wouldn’t believe the things I saw as a kid. As a 8th grade teenager my mom decided to move away and I refused to go with her due to the fact we moved around so much and there was never a good outcome. I stayed with my dad’s mom and sister and moved in with them but I went into major depression and I had deep philosophical thoughts at the time. I got over it from talk therapy and religious help. Ever since my high school years to my early adulthood (I’m 22 now) I was stable until a couple months ago. My anxiety and deep philosophical thinking came creeping in but it feels like it’s coming back at me 10x more harder than before. I’m stuck wondering why now and I’m frustrated or upset because I thought I got over my anxiety and depression but apparently not. It’s getting to the point where i’m slowing telling or believing myself that i’m nothing or life is nothing. Like my feelings and emotions don’t matter anymore like I’m not REAL or something. The depersonalization feeling or dissociation feeling that would trigger me as a kid is hitting me now but I can’t get rid of it anymore. It’s stuck with me, I can easily dissociate more now like some kind of super power but it’s not a good feeling. I don’t feel real or connected like how I was before. Idk why, it’s like i don’t have a soul or spirit it feels like i’m unconsciously conscious and my body, mind, and souls feels like a million miles away from me. My mood has been downhill for a month now and it’s getting to the point where when I sleep the first thing that comes to my mind is that i’m nothing and all this life is for nothing and I wake up feeling anxious. I want to be normal again but i’m scared because during this period of my time I feel a lot more self conscious or aware than I was ever before. I just want to know why i’m suddenly feeling like this again but worse? How can i be like myself again without telling myself at the same time im nothing and everything that i do is pointless. Am I slowly losing grip on reality or myself?
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