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HandOfTink
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Number of ratings1 Number of reviews1 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Hmong Listener sinceAug 15, 2026 Last activein last week GenderFemale PathStep 50 People helped4 Chats9 Group support chats0 Listener group chats0 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes27
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I am here to listen to you and help in any way that is within my capacity to do so. This is a judgment free zone. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

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Have you ever dealt with a co-parenting dynamic where the responsibility felt completely one-sided, even when you were together?
Relationship Stress / by HandOfTink
Last post
 August 19th
...See more A brief summary from MY perspective of what's happened: * Together 5 years, I recently ended the relationship with him in May. * We have 2 kids together: 4 years old, 14 months old * I'm the default parent (mother) so I deal with all of the mental load (planning our day, feeding and hygiene, dr. appointment reminders, house chores, etc) He handles feeding the dogs and cat. * He works Sun-Wed, I stopped working in 2023 to to go back to college and be a full-time parent but currently looking for work. * I have my kids full-time, father sees them 1~3 days per week, average hours spent per day when he visits are roughly 4~5 since the separation, before I ended things the hours would average 6~8 when he visited if we didn't go back to his house. Yes, I've told him numerous times what I needed from him as a father and partner, for the past 4 years actually. He would change for a few days then revert back to only being a dad when it was convenient for him or wait for me to tell him what he needs to do. He'd say I'm not even acknowledging him for changing diapers for feeding them without me telling him to (THAT'S LITERALLY HIS JOB AS A PARENT!!) Then he'd get upset that I'm not showing him any affection when he's "tried" to be a better father and that I wasn't even giving him anything in return. I have my reasons: inconsistency. I feel like his efforts to put the kids first after ending things with him are no longer his priority. He has gotten himself into a new relationship with someone half his age in a different country after finding out I reconnected with someone from my past who lives in a different state. I’m trying to check my own bias here—does it seem typical for a parent’s focus to shift further away from the kids after a separation, or was that dynamic already set beforehand?
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