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HelloBunny1111
1 746 M Little Steps
PathStep 30 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceJune 14, 2025
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Writer, mother, survivor. Healing from trauma with intention and compassion. Here to listen, connect, and keep showing up with Writer, mother, survivor. Healing from trauma with intention and compassion. Here to listen, connect, and keep showing up with heart.

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From Survivor to Mother: Trying to Hold Both Truths
Trauma Support / by HelloBunny1111
Last post
 June 15th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, I’m Nicole. I’m here because I’m in the middle of something painful and complex—and I need a space to speak honestly about it. I’m a trauma survivor. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and an emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially abusive father. I’ve spent over 20 years in therapy working hard to break those patterns and not pass them on. I’m also a mother. My child, now 20, recently told me they believe I was an emotionally immature parent. They read a book that gave them language to explore their pain—but the lens they’re using has flattened the truth of our relationship in ways that are devastating. I know I was not perfect. I made mistakes. There were moments during my own survival—particularly in abusive marriages—when I failed them. A handful of those times, I became physically reactive. They’ve told me they’ve forgiven me, and I’ve carried that accountability with me every day since But I also know what I didn’t do. I didn’t use love as a weapon. I didn’t isolate or manipulate. I didn’t demand emotional compliance. I protected them—from my parents, from my exes, from the very abuse I was raised with. I got them into therapy. I supported them through gender identity exploration and medical care. I stayed emotionally present, even when I was breaking. Now I’m trying to hold the grief of being mischaracterized alongside the truth that they are allowed to see the past through their own eyes. It’s hard. It hurts. And some days, it makes me question if I’ve done anything right at all. If anyone here understands what it means to both survive trauma and accidentally pass pieces of it on, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I don’t need fixing. I just want to know I’m not the only one trying to hold both truths. Thank you for reading. —Nicole
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