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HelplessMusician
45 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceSeptember 5, 2015
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Recent Breakup with a BPD Girl
Personality Disorders Support / by HelplessMusician
Last post
 September 5th, 2015
...See more I have been dating this woman for over 2/12 years and I recently had to call it quits(for the 3rd time). The last time we broke up was back in February. The reason we got back together is because I was convinced that I was the crazy one who needed help and who needed to be a better partner, and I was eager to give it a shot. I recently found out she is BPD, and when I read up on it, it was terrifying to me because literally EVERYTHING that was listed perfectly described our last few years together. I have depression and anxiety myself, and even a low self esteem. She has caused issues with my friends(which she lied about) as well as my roommates, which all escalated in to me having to prove my loyalties to her, resulting in me being left without any friends. I suggested treatment to her a few weeks ago and she pretty much said that it's my fault she's being like this and I'm the one who needs help. I've tried to be so good to her, but she refers to me as abusive. To make things even more difficult, she has children who she has been unable to take care of(she lost her job, car, and license 2 years ago), but I've grown very close to them. Even now that we are not together, I constantly think about her and worry about her because I know when she gets this upset during our breakups, she's resorted to excessive drug use, cutting, and reckless behavior. I love her so damn much and she's hurting so bad right now because she loves me too. Even if we did go to therapy and counseling, I know she won't budge on her lies that tore me apart from my friends, and I don't see how we could ever make thing work again. I feel so incredibly helpless right now :(
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