Hiimoriah Member Profile

...See more The other night I saw someone post in one of these.. what are they.. threads? They mentioned that they struggle with journaling whether it be a notebook (pen + paper) AND when they tried to make a journal note thread in their actual phone. The conclusion they came up with was to give making a thread here in this form their “journal” and after processing that for about two nights I think it was pretty genius. I wanted to give this a go because I am told over and over + over again that journaling is such a healthy way to cope with stressors and the *** storm that seems to be my life. I’d prefer to be able to write on pen and paper but my hands always cramp before I can ever get everything that I want to out and then I end up shorting the entry or eventually just giving up on it all together. I am good with typing and I type quite fast so at least my hands can keep up with my stupid brain.. right? I’m struggling hardcore with my boyfriend.. let’s call him “D.” We’ve been going through a tough time lately and I feel often that he doesn’t consider my feelings and oftentimes he will actually turn and manipulate a fight into my reaction to how he talks/or treats me being the problem as opposed to what he actually did or said to hurt my feelings or cause the problem in the first place. He took off over 24 hours ago and will send me annoying messages on *** Messenger but has nothing to say to me when I respond telling him to come home and talk to me because I am not going to do this over the internet anymore. He choose not to come home.. that was about six hours ago. He’s messaged me a few times since then.. stupid things! An example.. an hour ago he texted me “wtf”and I responded (probably should have just ignored it and kept my boundary to talk only if / when he comes back home… huh?) but anywho I responded back to him “?” To which of course I get no response. Watch. It will be two or three am that he will try to roll back up to the house (I lock the doors) and want me to let him in. I don’t think I’m going to open the door if he comes back any later than 10:00 PM… 11:00 at the latest. This is stupid and I feel dumb even typing this. I want to delete it and not to post it but maybe I will follow the Title I used in this thread to actually “Be Brave.” And post it. Please don’t make fun of me if you respond in this thread. I have no friends, I have no family, I have a boyfriend who most likely could give zero *** about me and I think I might be seven weeks pregnant with his kid. I feel so freaking alone and scared and hopeless.. I hope even just one person can understand.. Now that I am tearing up I am going to end this and post it. Please, please, be nice

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