INFPhanne90 Member Profile

...See more I was in a relationship with a man I admired more then anyone I ever knew. He had his flaws too, it wasn't like I thought he was a God. He lived an extreme life. Impulsive and adventures. I felt like I needed to match him, or compete with anyone he found interesting in his vicinity. I was constantly at war with my insecurity. And it grew stronger. I was so affraid of losing him I refused to see the red flags. Or I saw them but ignored them. His promiscuous behavior, drinking to much and lying a lot. I even wondered if he could have an antisocial-personality-disorder, but that's just speculation on my part, even tho it's scary close to reality. When we broke up it felt like it was because I was not good enough, as I was so discouraged from even trying to match him to even try. I'd become increasingly anxious which resulted in needy behavior. How do I get my lust for adventure back? It feel like nothing will ever be good enough after having observed his life. I didn't have a need for a big group of exciting friends before I met him, but now, without him to facilitate it, I feel very lonely without it. My crushed self-confidence is making it hard to make it for myself. I suspect it had something to do with me being female and not as crazy exciting and "loud" as him. Anyone have any tips for how to overcome this? How I wish there was a class or camp to build broken hearted back up again... haha!

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