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Idontknowmuchbutitry
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceDecember 9, 2021
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Female 21, married and unhappy with how my sexual life turned out, need outside perspective.
Relationship Stress / by Idontknowmuchbutitry
Last post
 December 15th, 2021
...See more I am Christian, sex was never really a thing before I got married. I did it once before I was married with a serious boyfriend, and I have done other things near to sex but never intercourse. Let’s just say I never had a lack of desire. When I was dating my now husband, it was a constant battle to not do more things with him. We always wanted each other. More importantly, I always wanted him. I am aware and secure with the fact that humans are sexual beings and there is nothing wrong with that, and that it is very healthy, I have always had a strong sex drive and often was more sexual then my male partners. Not your typical -never in the mood female-. I’m not exactly sure when it started to go away but around the time that we got married, my sexual desire started to decline. It has been one year since we got married and I have really struggled to enjoy sex and to be in the mood. I have a lot of gripes about how the female body is designed, and honestly; I’m jealous of how good it feels for him and how easy it is. It often brings me to tears when I am alone. It’s not as though he doesn’t try anything to help me. At least I think he has, its always hard to say if it’s you or the other person; or something else. I’d like to say it’s me but I don’t know. Anyways, we aren’t talking about that exactly. I have looked into countless videos, articles etc, about how female pleasure works, how to boost intimacy in your relationship, this to try, do it yourself whatever’s, all of it. I’ve explored, I’ve communicated with him. I’ve had orgasms, it’s not as though I’ve never reached one. But I can’t shake the feeling that my whole life everyone has just hyped sex up, and it’s really not that awesome, like I had too high of expectations. And often times feels more like a chore than anything else. I still get horny, but then I guess I always feel that there’s more to be desired once the deed is done. Is this just one of those rude awakenings of life? Sex is just there for you and your husband to bond, for him to feel great and you to feel okay or not good at all? And to make kids? What a life to live. Not sure what I’m looking for here, just some outside perspective I guess.
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