Ivysleague2020 Member Profile

...See more I dreamt about my abusive ex last night. I am currently in an emotionally abusive relationship, just not the way you think. Its like of guilt trips, lots of gaslighting, lots of insecurity thats literally effects everything I do & say to/around him.. etc. hes not verbally abusive but he manipulates my feelings and makes me feel crazy. Hes sweet, just damaged, w anger issues and impulse lack of control. He never does what he say he will, and so on. my ex was abusive sexually, emotionally, and verbally. yet, I found myself dreaming about kissing him and having sex w him. I missed the sex. He used to forcibly have sex w me and tell me how whos gonna f**k you like this and I think it stuck. yet I wanted to stay asleep. I pretended to be asleep as my boyfriend got ready for work very loudly and then kissed my forehead before he left. Hes become increasingly distant. I left for four days and it feels like he didnt miss me as much as he says he did. Why did I dream and prefer my ex to him? The one who trapped me in a room for 9 months, without contact or visitation w anyone at all? No one could even know where I lived! whats wrong w me...

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