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J3NN1
33 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts0 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceJuly 22, 2014
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anxiety, depression and loneliness
Depression Support / by J3NN1
Last post
 July 23rd, 2014
...See more Hi I am new to this site but seeking a little help. Though out school years I was bullied and got diagnosed with depression having counselling and medication I took the medication for about a year and feeling better took myself off it and stopped going to counselling. Like everyone had down days but now as years have gone on its got incredibly worse. My fiance is amazing however he is in the military so I only see him on weekends we have a house to which I am lonely as here by myself alot. I recently went back to doctors and they have put me back on medication and recommended cbt which has a 4 month waiting list. I am a hairdresser and I left my job to be on my own as working in a public environment was becoming a fear. Nothing has improved with being self employed I worry financially and the pressure of being a sole trader gives me anxiety and everything hangs over my head the need to please people is over powering and I feel people walk all over me. I had a new client who had her hair done and didn't like it so has demanded her money back the situation broke me I have cried endless tears and fell into a fit of panic. I have of course granted her money back but I feel like I have failed at my job and the thought of doing anyone else's hair makes me panic even though I have a lot of nice clients but just one person has dragged me down completely! I hate what I am doing with my life I want to change it but have zero confidence I want to go to college and become a counsellor but I cannot afford to give up my job to forfill this aspiration and how can I help people if I can't help myself.
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