anxiety, depression and loneliness
Hi I am new to this site but seeking a little help. Though out school years I was bullied and got diagnosed with depression having counselling and medication I took the medication for about a year and feeling better took myself off it and stopped going to counselling. Like everyone had down days but now as years have gone on its got incredibly worse. My fiance is amazing however he is in the military so I only see him on weekends we have a house to which I am lonely as here by myself alot. I recently went back to doctors and they have put me back on medication and recommended cbt which has a 4 month waiting list. I am a hairdresser and I left my job to be on my own as working in a public environment was becoming a fear. Nothing has improved with being self employed I worry financially and the pressure of being a sole trader gives me anxiety and everything hangs over my head the need to please people is over powering and I feel people walk all over me. I had a new client who had her hair done and didn't like it so has demanded her money back the situation broke me I have cried endless tears and fell into a fit of panic. I have of course granted her money back but I feel like I have failed at my job and the thought of doing anyone else's hair makes me panic even though I have a lot of nice clients but just one person has dragged me down completely! I hate what I am doing with my life I want to change it but have zero confidence I want to go to college and become a counsellor but I cannot afford to give up my job to forfill this aspiration and how can I help people if I can't help myself.
Hey Jenni, and welcome to 7 Cups of Tea ? we're happy to have you here with us. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Anyone would feel a bit overwhelmed, but I can't imagine anxiety makes it any easier for you. Though it's no replacement for professional therapy, the Anxiety support guide here on 7 Cups has information on CBT methods, as well as several worksheets that you may find helpful in the meantime. I am currently in therapy for anxiety and depression, and my therapist has given me worksheets very similar to the ones in the Anxiety support guide here.
If you'd like to talk with a listener, you can head to Browse Listeners and use the category dropdown to find listeners who have experience working with anxiety, depression, and other areas. You can also message me, if you would like, though my chat availability is limited right now.
I know it can be daunting to talk about personal problems with someone you don't know, but we are here to help you however we can. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you're not alone ?
Thank you your kindness helps. I find it comforting knowing that I'm not alone however incredibly saddened by the thought of so many people going through this
J3NN1, I can identify with some of the issues you are struggling with. I know what it is like to be terrably loney. I know what it is like to be fearful in public, and I know what it feels like when something goes wrong at work or in some other area of your life and you feel like you failed, and it then snowballs into fear of messing up or failing again. There is hope. Things may seem quite aweful now, but in time all of that can change.
I am still quite lonely at times, but I have found it helps to plan things out. It helps to make a list of things to do when I am lonely, or when I am really sad. As a matter -o-fact lists can be very helpful when you are having a hard time. Try making a list about the things you like about yourself or things you are good at or things you want to try. Then when you are struggling you can pull it out and you may find yourself smiling again. When I was really really depressed and suicidal, it was hard to actually do something on that list, but i always felt better if I was able to do one thing I'd written down such as exercising, singing in the shower or calling a friend.
As for the client who was not happy and demanded their money back... we are human. Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes there are people in the world who are never satisfyed. Either way, the truth is we cannot make everyone happy all the time and we cannot control how others may act or react. We can only control our own choices. We can choose how we react to our feelings, to others and to the situations we find ourselves in. Do not feel guilty about this client and DO NOT let it shake your confidience when working with other clients! I am sure you know what you are doing and you are probably a great hair dresser!
As for being fearful in public... well that's a tough one, it takes time. But I found the more I pushed myself to be social again and be in public places I didnt want to be in the better I got. It may help to start by finding someone you can trust to do some things with you while in an uncofortable public place or situation. Then challenge yourself and do it on your own.
When you asked how can you help people when you cant help yourself I knew I had to answer your thread. I felt the same way a few months ago. Then I started working again. One job is my passion, working with kids and the other is working with these wonderful ladies who have physical and mental disabilities. I feared i would be horrible at the job bc I could hardly help myself, but I found it quite easy to help these ladies. They taught me so much, they made me laugh, and cry, they took my mind off of the things I was struggling with. Helping others is one of the best ways to get better.
Keep reaching for your dreams don't give up. It may feel hopeless now but someday you will find away to go back to college and be an amazing counselor. Who wouldnt want a counselor who truly understands what it is like to deal with depression, or anxiety? I wish you the best, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Sincerely,
luvtorun
PS you can always change things if you don't like the way your life is now, and I know you will. Don't give up!
I'm really sorry to hear all you're going through and maybe this isn't something you need as much but I'm also with someone in the military so if you ever need someone to talk to about that, you can definitely use me as an option. It's incredibly hard, and with everything else you're going through I can't imagine it's fun right now. Either way you're in my thoughts <3
