JMackenzie93 Member Profile

...See more Hi everyone. I'm recently going through an extremely rough time but I want to be clear, I suffer from anxiety and depression regularly. My issues are not situational, only amplified by my current situation. 2 years ago I began seeing my boyfriend and we fell in love pretty quickly. Fast forward to now and we have an apartment hours away from our families. I'm in my last semester of college, he is working full time and we have 2 dogs. Yesterday he told me he can't handle me anymore. Over the past 2 years my untreated mental illnesses have caused a lot of issues and they have taken a toll on his mental health. It isn't fair I just feel helpless to change. I don't know what to do. I have been described as a miserable person. Something as simple as being cut off in traffic can push me to go off very vocally for some time. I am controlling in relationships. I don't do "crazy" things, but I have banned marijuana totally from his life, despite him never having an issue with it or being a heavy user. I feel like I can't control my own life so I have to control others. I'm a total mess and totally heartbroken. I have no healthy coping mechanisms for when we squabble. I just deflect and turn problems onto other people. I don't want to live like this anymore. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had. Has anyone been here before? What did you do? Any advice is appreciated.

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