Does Anyone Understand Me?
Hi everyone.
I'm recently going through an extremely rough time but I want to be clear, I suffer from anxiety and depression regularly. My issues are not situational, only amplified by my current situation.
2 years ago I began seeing my boyfriend and we fell in love pretty quickly. Fast forward to now and we have an apartment hours away from our families. I'm in my last semester of college, he is working full time and we have 2 dogs.
Yesterday he told me he can't handle me anymore. Over the past 2 years my untreated mental illnesses have caused a lot of issues and they have taken a toll on his mental health. It isn't fair I just feel helpless to change. I don't know what to do.
I have been described as a miserable person. Something as simple as being cut off in traffic can push me to go off very vocally for some time. I am controlling in relationships. I don't do "crazy" things, but I have banned marijuana totally from his life, despite him never having an issue with it or being a heavy user. I feel like I can't control my own life so I have to control others. I'm a total mess and totally heartbroken. I have no healthy coping mechanisms for when we squabble. I just deflect and turn problems onto other people. I don't want to live like this anymore. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had.
Has anyone been here before? What did you do?
Any advice is appreciated.
@JMackenzie93
I've had my own long history of anxiety and depression issues. I self-medicated and have been clean for a year after hitting my rock bottom. You mentioned you have no healthy coping mechanisms. This would be the first place to focus on making some positive changes in your life in addition to giving up your addiction(s). I would recommend starting with little things such as improvements to your diet and sleep as well as exercising just a bit. Meditation has been a huge boon to me personally, but what I impress most is the breathing. You're going to have to learn how to breathe and there are plenty of exercises you can find here on 7c. While some have had negative impressions with the whole group thing like 12-step programs, there are some excellent alternatives that bring more practical insights and tools for use in our daily lives. Depending on where you live, I'm in the US, there may be a community called SMART Recovery in your area that could help with this. The reason why face-to-face environments can be more useful than these online ones is because you're able to physically see and grasp the support you're being given in the psychosocial context, that relating to the interrelation of social factors and individual thought and behavior. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance or can clarify anything in this I'll shared so far. You are not alone. You're a courageous and strong person even for reaching out like this. Hang in there. Blessed be.
