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JOTYKI
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts75 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes33 Current upvotes33 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2025 Member sinceJuly 25, 2025
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Trying to understand love, intimacy, and connection—late in life
Men's Issues / by JOTYKI
Last post
 May 15th
...See more I’m a 32-year-old man, and I’ve never been in a relationship or had any sexual experience. I didn’t grow up in an environment where emotional connection was encouraged—my childhood was isolating and very focused on survival and responsibility. I wasn’t allowed to develop socially, and now, in adulthood, I feel left behind. I carry a lot of shame and guilt about being so late to this part of life, and I often feel like people will judge me, pull away, or assume something is wrong with me if I tell the truth. But I want to learn. I want to feel closeness with someone. I want to understand how intimacy works—not just the physical side, but the emotional trust and communication part. The problem is, when I get close to someone or even think about intimacy, I freeze up. My heart races. I feel fear and disgust toward myself for even wanting it. It feels like I missed some critical window to learn these things—and now I’m watching the world from the outside. I’m not looking for pity. I just want to talk to people who maybe understand this kind of delayed start, or who have also struggled with touch, connection, or shame around dating. If you’ve ever felt this kind of “emotional late bloomer” pain, I’d really appreciate hearing how you’ve coped—or even just knowing I’m not the only one.
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Learning to be me, makes me feel lesser than everybody
Depression Support / by JOTYKI
Last post
 July 29th, 2025
...See more I am trying my hardest to find who I actually am. I grew up on a farm,and was only ever seen as labour. I never was allowed to have wants, never got to do all the kids stuff. Learning from failing, making friends, romantic relationships, been ok in my own skin. I've lost 20 years, and I feel as though the ship has sailed on my self learning. I crave love, but don't even know what it is. I crave touch, but am too scared to let people see the real me. I crave connection but I am too much for people. I can fix almost anything physical, yet i cannot fix my broken self. Its hard to not repeat the same thing over and over, when I feel so much of everything. Anyways.
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