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JaMc1991
127 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceApril 21, 2021
Bio

I'm not sure what made me want to join this site, but here I am.
I'm not confident this will do me any good. My issues are very extreme, and I just can't find the right help.

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It's getting more and more difficult.
Depression Support / by JaMc1991
Last post
 April 23rd, 2021
...See more I've been doing therapy for a good number of years now, and lately I've been having doubts that I can even be helped. Everything seems like such a hassle now. It takes a while to want to leave bed. When I'm on the track to improving my eating habits, I fall off in a few days because everything else is overwhelming me. Even driving is too much for me now. I hate going outside. Like I said, I don't think I can be helped. It goes beyond just feeling depressed and unmotivated. I don't have a very positive outlook on life. There was a time when I was ashamed to admit it. I thought I was weak for hating the way the world worked, so much so I tried to force myself into believe everything was better than it was, but eventually I couldn't anymore. I started embracing the anger I had. I won't spill out everything I feel, but I'll tell you that my worldview is incredibly bleak. It's not something I can push to the back of my mind by just "looking on the bright side". I hate this world and the very concept of life itself. And I mean I really, really hate it. I see human life as a prison, and I so badly want to escape from it. Though I mostly just want to dismantle it out of spite, because I feel duped into thinking people were better than what they actually are.
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