JackB66 Member Profile

...See more The last two years of my life have been like a rollercoaster. Ive gone through periods of low self confidence and suicidal thoughts. Ive been to two different therapists, but hated every minute of each session and lied to both of them to get out of going. I hate talking about my problems, they make me feel vulnerable, and weak. Im scared to start any kind of relationship, I feel like I need to try solve my problems before jumping into something. Ive got no one to trust to talk to, anyone I talked to in the past either told me to grow a pair or overreacted and made things worse. I feel like Im a failure. Im almost 17, and all my friends seem to have plans for the future. Meanwhile, anytime I decide what I want to do after school, people seem to pass comments about how I wouldnt be able to do it, that Im not smart enough. I know I shouldnt listen to this, but I keep thinking What if Im not smart enough. What if I dont get into college, what can I do with my life then. Before my father passed away, I promised him I would go into medicine, and try help find a cure for Cancer ( which he was battling at the time, before sadly loosing the fight) or other diseases. Since then, Ive realised Im not smart enough for that, and that the last promise I made to him I cant keep. This makes me angry more than anything else. So now its back to not knowing what I want to do in life. I want to have a job that makes a difference. I want to help other people. Im sorry for rambling on. I honestly dont know if any of this makes sense. Im just venting, if anyone has any advice it is much appreciated. Thank you, Jack

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