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Jeanso
1 85 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 12, 2020
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The struggling turmoil of divorcing a narcissistic abuser.
Relationship Stress / by Jeanso
Last post
September 13th, 2020
...See more Some back story. I met my partner 8 years ago. We lived long distance from each other. I was in California and he was in Arizona at the time. I have a sordid history of child abuse and bad dating experience so when he came into my life i was so blinded by the falsehood of security I thought he provided. After a month of dating he convinced me to quite my job, drop out of school, and leave my friends and family to move to Arizona and be with him. I had so many unresolved childhood traumas that I eagerly jumped at the opportunity to be with someone who for the first time in my life, wanted to take care of me. For the first time, I felt like I was loved. A few months later and we were married (a quick trip to California after same-sex marriage was legalized). The relationship was always hot and cold and sometimes verbally violent but I reasoned it to be passion. 8 years later and a child we adopted 3 years ago as a newborn as our daughter; and now I am drowning. Therapy has helped to recognize the abusive characteristics of the marriage. I've come to terms with my crippling depression and anxiety that's withered me into a shell of a human being. I want to divorce him. I want to leave and free myself but he's threatened to take full custody of our child. He's sketchy at best financially. I feel so lost. I cannot live without my child. And the idea of divorcing in the era of marriage equality feels like failure. jeanso
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