JerBearPittsburgh Member Profile

...See more TW: Covid, racism, misinformation TLDR; Covid lifted the veil on all of our neurosis. I'm estranged from everyone I've ever known due mostly to generational white supremacy and rampant mis/disinformation. It isn't often I allow myself to entertain the thought that "I did all of this; made so many improvements; grew into a better version of me, so why is it ME who ends up alone?" Intellectually I know it isn't forever, but the interim is agony. People dumber than me; crueler than me; less enlightened and evolved than me, are out there living like there's no tomorrow and I'm trapped inside because I feel alien and unwelcome and dispassionate about interacting with them all. I want them to see me for my value, but I don't value their opinion of me because they're ***. The struggle of duality within my traumatized psyche is debilitating. I'm far less than, and wildly greater than, every other human person living or dead. Simultaneously and relentlessly. It doesn't matter if either or neither is true, it all makes me feel entirely "other." Tonight I had a 30 minute conversation with my my younger brother who moved to SanFran in December 2020 after months of telling me that Covid is a government hoax. This man is unfailingly gullible and perpetually miseducated. His heart wants to be in the right place, but he ends up buying whatever the next guy is selling even if it conflicts with the ethos he just bought a few guys back up the road. This time it's Zac Efron which isn't that strange because my brother grew up on High School Musical like a lot of other people. What IS strange, is that he tried to school me on the misdeeds of capitalist media companies using psychology to keep folks plugged into the matrix even though it's killing them and the planet, all while touting the altruism of a famously debunked Netflix miniseries with a multi-million dollar budget that could have been spent solving some of the issues the two famous co-stars are haplessly vacationing near. Half the episode I watched seemed like it was meant to drive traffic to Darin's pseudoscience supplement business. I challenged it, he tripled down and told me all the entitled people with their hands out who don't want to work hard to have the means to buy acreage in Colorado Springs to homestead and get back to what life is really about (clean living, mind over matter mental health care, taking what's yours) is collateral damage and deserve their fate when the world collapses. He says this without irony. He says this from his luxury vehicle/life living paycheck to paycheck on his wife's travel nurse salary. This man is 34 years old, obviously white, and has spent the last year annoying everyone he knows with social media posts featuring toxic positivity, good vibes, and a splash of Scientology. Anyway, he's fake and I'm grumpy so I'm off to watch the new Weird Al movie. Be Good, Jeremey

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