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Jetmints
739 M Little Steps
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2018 Member sinceMarch 3, 2018
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Warning Triggering Ptsd sexual abuse9
Trauma Support / by Jetmints
Last post
 March 18th, 2018
...See more I am really struggling, I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD because of domestic abuse including sexual and psychological from an ex husband many years ago. I am waiting for therapy but it's taking time. Im having nightmares which wake me up and today I woke up but the experience carried on!! I am so confused, i couldnt move and endefd up being an hour late for work. I could feel pain inside me (he used to force sex on me whether I wanted it or not). I am horrified at these memories that are flooding back from my 30's and im in my late 50's now. Why didnt I stop him somehow??? I was with this man from being a 17 year old girl......... what the hell! I'm thinking back now as a mature woman and im so angry with myself for staying with him. He started being abusive when I got pregnant the first time when I was 26. I didnt divorce him until I was 33. Im not even sure I realised half the time that he was abusing me because he was my first boyfriend. I didnt know what was acceptable and what wasnt!!! I feel so angry with myself now.
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