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Jushiee
2 9,857 M Pacing Forward 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts130 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceJune 11, 2018
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Just found out my husband had serious Oedipus complex as a teen. Don't know how to deal with it.
Relationship Stress / by Jushiee
Last post
 April 13th, 2025
...See more My husband generaly talk in his sleep. Today while doing so he reached out to me but said " Mom, please cuddle me". When he woke up I confronted him of something I've had a lingering doubt about for a very long time. I asked him outright if he has the Oedipus Complex. Please note his mom died 2 years ago, she had him in her 40s after a lot of treatments to have a child. He is an only child. He confessed that when he is 13 or 14 . He was very sick due to recurring jaundice and other liver disease that had him in bed for almost 8 months with sickness. In that time his only source of entertainment was some erotic books. It made his imagination run wild and as his mother was the only female around he would suck her nipples while she slept. He said she was a heavy sleeper and is she woke up she would push him away. I asked him if it aroused him he said yes. I didn't ask him anything more as it felt like I was already invading too much also I didn't want to know more. I know nothing more happen after that. But i am having a hard time coping up. I don't mostly mind the fact that he had the complex. Lots of men do. And it's the age where they are developing psycosexualy. But we had have lot of trouble in our relationship because I feel like he has very less sexual attraction to me. It impacts my confidence and we'll being. Also I always feel like he wants me to baby him and behaves like i should do things like a mother does for their son . I'm feeling very disgusted. How to get over it. I love this man. But ***. What the *** is this ?
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Have I been groomed?
35 & Over Community / by Jushiee
Last post
 January 6th, 2023
...See more I've been in a relationship with a guy who is 15 years older than i am. He's 35 now and i am 20. He used to be my tutor. My mother found about my feelings for him and i had to stop taking his classes. And since I was no longer his student i confessed my feelings to him and it was mutual. I was 15, almost 16 at that time. We came into a sort of relationship. Mostly contacting over phone. We met only a couple of times a month at most until last year which was the 4th year of the relationship. He was someone i really looked up to before the relationship began and after that someone who was a great support system emotionally. My relationship with my family is bad to say the least. I grew up in a joint family of over 20 people. We all love together in the same house and people are just envious and callous. As for my parents, my mother used to physical abuse me until my early teenage years and after that it was emotional abuse. As for dad I don't think I have ever had a conversation with him. He's very misogynistic and i grew up with way too many restrictions. I studied in an all girls convent school, didn't have much contact with any male friends just male cousins. All this put me in a vulnerable place emotionally and at that age having this guy was like everything. I really love him and so does he. It may sound like i am defending him but he really is a great person and a lot of people can vouch for it. His parents wanted him to get married as he was over 30 and here people get arranged married in their 20s. But the guy told me that he would give me time till 18 and then if i confirm that i would marry him in future he would inform him parents about me. And so he did and even then we didn't marry until I was 20. I had secretly married him about a year ago because I was afraid that my family would not have a good reaction to our relationship because he is not from our caste and to my family that is everything in marriage. I was still living with my parents like usual. The marriage was just a safety measures. A few weeks ago my family did discover our relationship and they locked me up until my husband brought the police to set me free. My family accused me harrased me a lot until they found out that I had already done the court marriage and that now they could not break is apart. My husband really did fight a lot to free me from my family as they have a lot of influence in the area with the police. My relationship with him is great. But recently a friend of mine who had moved to a different city for college was going through relationship troubles. And ultimately when she gave me the details it was apparent that the guy had groomed her and was forcing her to get explicit photos of herself and her friends. He had been fired from his two previous jobs on account of sexual harrasment. He was about 6-7 years older than my friend and the way she would talk about him even after knowing all this. Still wanting to find something to defend him made me question if this has happened with me too. I don't know. I don't think I was groomed in any way. But my relationship was not leagal. I don't doubt my husband's feeling. And like I said in the title it wouldn't matter if it was grooming because I am married to him now and won't be leaving him. We did have sex when I was about 16, but only once. And a couple of time in the next 4 years. But that was all. It was only after I was about 20 and we got secretly married that we did start having sex like a normal relationship. Before that he said he didn't want to do anything sexual as it would not be right. As I was too young. But the whole relationship and the situation with me being at such an impressionable age and him as a supportive figure makes me question if really it was grooming in any way.
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