Jvliahope8 Member Profile

...See more Hi I'm Julia 21 years old and I'm really in need of some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and split up in may because I wasn't able to be in the relationship anymore. We had a lot of fights and our relationship has been rocky from the very beginning. After about 1 month of dating, his grandma passed away and this was a very difficult period for him full of grieve. He began to take less care of himself and how much I wanted to help him, it didnt seem to work. Being in the relationship he realized that he never really learned how to love someone. His whole family consists out of divorced couples and he lived almost his whole past only with his mom who had several boyfriends who abused her mentally and physically. His dad had a wife who treated my boyfriend really unfair and was always mad at him and punished him and mentally abused him. He also got picked on a lot when he was younger at school, this made him tend to change his personality every time he meets people because he wants to be liked. His past is his past and I want to be there for him, but he adapted a coping mechanism where he cant handle confrontation and starts to get mad and yell and act very out of pocket. He also doesnt communicate his feelings and expects me to read his mind. He is very emotional unintelligent and it made it really difficult for us to solve problems and give eachother what we need in a relationship. After breaking up and being apart, I dated someone else and he went on more trips with his friends and made more time for them. We both realised we really want to be together and that it feels like a missing piece not being able to be with eachother. Now we're talking again we stumble against the same problems, I have a lot of difficulties trusting him and I dont believe a word he says because in the past he NEVER was a man of his word eventhough he said he was. I am so afraid he is manipulating me and he doesnt really love me and he is acting like different persons with different morals and values again.. he started a new therapy and he seems to take more responsability and get more mature, but it still stings with me. I really want to believe him when he says he is working on it and he is honest with me, but he says that times before. I just dont know how to handle this

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