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Jz133
369 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceJuly 7, 2023
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Am I really unreasonable?
Relationship Stress / by Jz133
Last post
 August 2nd, 2023
...See more My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for 10 of those 12. Over the course of our relationship I knew drinking was something that was part of our social life. Going out with friends when we had no kids etc. it was ok and fine. Though one thing I noticed in my wife is that she never knew when to stop. Something I put up with for the most part and set aside. Young a dumb right. Well 12 years later nothing has changed and it bothers me. We have 3 kids 9 years old and younger and she comes home after work and proceeds to drink probably 3-4 drinks every night. Then she wants to go out and in her words just be silly and gets completely wasted. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a beverage or two but I know when enough is enough and because I stop she calls me lame and says because I don't like her drinking I'm just a judgmental F***. So most weeks we are talking 18-20+ drinks and when she's out it's 6+ drinks where in my personal opinion judgment goes out the window and im worries bad things can happen. When she isn't drinking heavy she just says im a lame person and no fun she says it's just her silly personality and she deserves to be herself but I think she has a bit of a problem. I can't rationalize with her because all it does is causes a fight. She says she doesn't have a problem because she functions fine and still has a wonderful job and doesn't need it all the time and maybe alcoholic is the wrong label but she abuses it badly. Am I out of line in that thinking? She makes me feel like I’m the unreasonable one and tells me I’m the reason she drinks and I’m just lame and am no fun. She’s cheated on me once already after heavy drinking on work trips and I find not so appropriate messages on her phone to other men asking to hold her hair while she’s puking, she says it’s all just a joke but this makes all of this harder to deal with. Am i unreasonable? Am I really just a problem?
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