KathyLeigh Member Profile

...See more *sigh* another day of isolation, depression, anxiety and pity for myself. I’m in my early 30’s. A mom of 1. In a partnership of 10 years where I’m still having to beg to be treated with mutual respect and care. A ton of trauma. I feel stuck. I struggle with showing up for anything. I can hardly work my part-time job. I feel like my son works harder than me by going to school. He has to show up 8 hours a day for school and I can barely show up 3 days a week for work. I feel really horrible about myself. I don’t have support here. I don’t have family really. My mom died and my relationship with my dad is scarce. I’m stuck. I don’t have energy to do anything. I don’t get to have fun. I’m not making fun memories. I’m just a blob. I want to change. I want to make money so that I can support myself. I want to have friends and have things to look forward to. I want to be able to commit to things without flaking. I’m tired of the constant exhaustion. But I genuinely don’t think things will get better. The hope I have for my future is so bleak. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be heavily involved in church, school, work, life, etc. Even on my worst days when my parents’ alcoholism left me feeling dead inside, I had purpose. Leaving the church 10 years ago was hard and I genuinely haven’t recovered. Never knew it would be this lonely. Never realized how much I relied on the support of others. I can’t even seem to find the energy to do small things like - take a walk.. write some poetry.. do a few tarot readings. I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep. All day everyday. :(

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