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Ke1ka
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 8, 2021
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Rough breakup.
Relationship Stress / by Ke1ka
Last post
 March 21st, 2021
...See more (Me)M[18], F[17]We’ve been together for one year and we only had a few weeks to go till our anniversary was approaching. Earlier before 2021 and the breakup started I told her that if I were to start a biological family of mine it would be with her, and she wasn’t too fond of that idea and told me that she doesn’t want to have kids, she felt like it was an unnatural thing for her and i understood and said that it’s okay, We can always adopt and do some other alternative that we can still raise our own and she agreed. Around February On the day of Vday, I was looking forward to spending all day with her, but on the day of; she told me she wanted a break. And I held back my disappointed voice and emotions and that’s fine.. just come to me whenever you need anything and she went on about her day. 3 weeks later i was going through a mental burn out crisis and I came to her for help, she agreed to help me and we had our moment, and I asked her if we could start talking a little bit again because i missed her and whenever I talked to her my anxiety always calmed down. She agreed and said it’ll be alright. Two days later, while I was texting her giving her a small paragraph of how amazing she was and how much I loved her, She didn’t seem like she wanted to reciprocate, then she said “Look as much as I love you, I can’t be with you. I can’t fulfill your wish of making a family and I would rather you be happy with someone else who can give that for you, I don’t wanna waste your time or hurt you in the future ” I was shocked, but I didn’t want to detest her because she seemed upset anyway, so I just agreed. She offered that we can be friends and me being stupidly hopeful and wanting to get her back, I agreed to be friend zoned. But I was hurting still, I still had hard feelings for her and I had no idea how she felt about this completely. It came out of nowhere and it seemed like something we could’ve talked over. So after a few days I came to her and I was at my most vulnerable state crying out to her thinking she’d understand and tell me everything like she usually do, but she said word for word “I don’t know if you’re crying to me to make me feel sorry for you but it’s not working. What the hell do you want from me!?” And I felt everything break, I felt a whole bunch of disgust, and negativity come from her when she was saying that.. she went on to say “I didn’t like like you like that, even if I did I still wanted to be just friends” “I don’t understand what’s wrong with being friends, is it not enough for you? Do you want me to say I love you so you can feel better and sleep at night??” “Friends can kiss and cuddle and do anything that couples can do, it’s just an Americanized thing, there is no difference” “unlike you I took time to myself and worry about what I want” “I don’t care how selfish this sounds but it feels good being the center of attention for once” “I can’t fix everything for you and I’m tired of mothering you, it’s not my job!” and I wanted to physically throw up from what I was hearing.. and I asked her why did she do all this, we were together for a whole year, if you didn’t feel the feelings I felt for you WHY did you not say anything when you had the chance earlier!? And all she could reply was “one year is nothing compared to a lifetime, you can experience longer with someone else” and I just cried like a mess and left the conversation there. A few days later I called her, she picked up being all friendly with me pretending she didn’t put my heart through a grinder the other day and I told her “I don’t want to be your friend, I’m sorry” and before I could go on to explain further, she hung up on me and blocked me on everything we had with eachother and took me off her subscriptions and what not. I am now realizing she hurt me, lead me on, and used me. She did everything she said she wouldn’t do. I’m extremely hurt.
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