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Kimnamchi
282 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2019 Member sinceMarch 19, 2019
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Finally Opening Up
Trauma Support / by Kimnamchi
Last post
 March 19th, 2019
...See more TW // sexual assault / rape Hello all of the things Im about to say happened when I was 14 years old. Im 18 now. When I was a freshman, I had a crush on a senior in high school. He gained my trust and I even wanted to date him, and I really didnt know what a f***boy was because I was only a freshman and this was 2014-2015. He knew I was a virgin. He knew I wasnt really comfortable with all of the sexual talk. Many times he would ask me to do sexual things and I would say no, but then he would keep pushing and pushing and i felt exhausted so I just gave up and he had his way with me. Eventually, he had sex with me without my consent. Im angry at myself to this day. I should have said no louder or pushed him off. I was so afraid that I would lose him if I said no another time or made him angry. Some people say that something like this is rape but I feel so guilty... I feel like its my fault. I already have Panic Disorder (diagnosed at 4 years old) and Depression (formally diagnosed at 9 years old) so its always been hard for me to say NO. I havent really told anyone because Im so ashamed. Is it my fault?
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