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Kittycat99
431 M Embraced 3
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2017 Member sinceJuly 13, 2017
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Looking for a nice listener :)
General Support / by Kittycat99
Last post
 July 18th, 2017
...See more Hi, I struggle with depression and self-esteem issues. I'm no longer self-harming or suicidal, but that has been in my past. I'm in a long-term relationship as I'm engaged, and I'm going to be going to college next year after a gap. I'd really like to have someone to vent to and bond with so I can grow more :)
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Confession: I was abused and brought into a prostitution ring
Trauma Support / by Kittycat99
Last post
 November 3rd, 2017
...See more I "fell in love" with a man who would later become my pimp... I was young and naive, and I thought that he was the best; that him thinking it was hot when other men had sex with me was "sweet" and "endearing". I thought that when he "shared" me with these "friends", it was because he was proud to have me and was showing me off... but when I realized I wasn't the only one, that he treated the other girls in the house the same way, I was too deep. I had to deal with having men that weren't my "boyfriend", whose NAMES I didn't even know, repeatedly invade my body and rape me every day. I had to suffer through physical trauma to my internal organs, along with all the bruises,black eyes, and fractured bones I received when I didn't perform an act a certain way. I ended up escaping this life, but not after I was scarred and had to witness many crimes including the murder of a man still laying on top of me, violating my body. My former pimp has recently been killed in prison, and while this brings me some comfort it brings me so much fear. I worry my past life will catch up to me somehow, even though it's been years and I am now planning my future. I feel like I can't escape my sex-worker past, and I feel worthless every day. Having sex with the man I'm going to marry is so difficult thanks to my PTSD... nothing makes me feel worse than rethinking all of the "clients" I had to entertain just to be able to eat dinner and not be abused further. I wish I could take it all back.
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