Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
KoboldArtificer
317 M Embraced 2
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceApril 2, 2022
Bio
Recent forum posts
KoboldArtificer profile picture
Is it possible for depression to become a part of you?
Depression Support / by KoboldArtificer
Last post
 April 19th, 2022
...See more Hello everyone, I'm kind of a newbie here, and I thought this might be a good place to ask about something that's been on my mind for a while now, and quite frankly, terrifies me. To begin, I've had depression for a while. I hadn't always realized it, but it's been present, either front and center in my mind, making me feel like I should just perish, or in the background, changing how I view certain matters. The second part is what scares me right now, because of how long it's been happening. Early on in my depression (some years ago), I felt that I wasn't worth anything, and if everyone had a purpose in the world, mine was to take a bullet so someone else would live to do something important (I didn't think it would be that scenario specifically mind you, but you get the idea). That had an effect though; I figured, well okay, since I'm not important, the least I can do is support my loved ones. And so I always tried to support my friends and family in their own mental battles rather than facing my own, because after all, why fight my own when my mental health doesn't matter in the end? It went on for quite some time, until I met someone, who didn't need my help. Who had their mental health together, decided to be my friend for some unfathomable reason, and started supporting me instead. That's what really made me realize what I'd been doing for so long. And now I'm scared, because this tiny little thought that depression caused, turned into a massive part of my personality. And this example I've given isn't the only one either, which is even scarier. And if I work towards defeating depression, if these tiny thoughts cease to be believed as true, what happens to me? Who do I become? Would I even be myself anymore? It terrifies me beyond almost anything else, and it's kinda become a barrier to working towards mental health. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Search more from @KoboldArtificer
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
11 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Honest Voice First Post Debuted Reaching out First Compassion Meet & Greet Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue