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KoolKiwi16
192 M Embraced 1
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts1 Age GroupTeen Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceMarch 31, 2024
Recent forum posts
hi, random rant ig, how can you have a bpd screening wo parents
Depression Support / by KoolKiwi16
Last post
April 1st
...See more im 17 hi, so last two ish years stuff has just gotten a lot worse, especially this year so i started telling a couple of my friends which honestly has helped. i think?? but they all say i should get real help but cant cuz parents idk and i honestly am wanting to get a BPD diagnosis or talk to someone but idk abt that either but really everything  just fits and i don’t know what to do, i get so angry at little things that im called insane and so jealous and everyone moves and anyways but especially this year where sh getting worse and more addicting and also coffee addiction like my goal when drinking coffee is to sometimes end up in a hospital and die, plus it’s just really affected my friends and parents and me and my grades and i’ve never failed classes before but i’ve been now because last two weeks(skipped a half week of school) just gave up on school and life and wanted to die honestly couldn’t stop thinking that and self harm things were getting worse that i couldn’t stop  and i want to just absolutely want to destroy myself then and this always happens in like cycles, like i am amazing and ahh it’s just the best for two weeks and then i fall into a really bad depressive habit for a month or so and then it repeats anyways idk but i also feel like i don’t have a reason to be sad, so sad i’ve tried to die, there’s sooo many other people dealing with stuff and i can’t always help and think i just act like a debby downer because i just “get sad” like little tiny tiny things should not affect me so much, and parents aren’t very helpful with stuff i guess that i can explain later, but then im just fine after? my parents wont listen even tho they make sure to tell me i need mental help im insane blah blah blah and then if i bring something up the don’t believe in mental illness but anyways talked to a friend, a friend i met like a year ago and just got rlly close too, i’ve never been a hugger but they are the best and ahh they an angel, but for them im trying to stop sh— its so so hard oml i lasted ten days and two days ago did it but rn im blasting music and spamming game pegion so i goo and idk this pointless hi