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L33CHES
1 1,802 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 98 Compassion hearts162 Forum posts24 Forum upvotes69 Current upvotes69 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2025 Member sinceDecember 14, 2024
Bio

16 y.o.

she/her

call me leech, leeches, or hills!! i don't mind whatever name is used.

struggling with addiction, insecurity, and other things.

Recent forum posts
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i need help regarding my bf.
General Support / by L33CHES
Last post
 February 3rd, 2025
...See more so i recently got with my bf, he's nice and all, but i felt forced to like him back and i dug myself into a deep deep hole.....every "i love you" "i miss you" that i tell to him feels so forced and un genuine, and i do recognize that i should've just let the guy know that i didn't want to date at all really. everything i talk to him about or tell him about are things i think he likes to hear and i do know its bad because im technically leading him on, i didn't have any intention to do so whatsoever. i want to end things before we get too far into our relationship, but i don't know how to do it without it resulting in him getting hurt. he's severely depressed and has told me previously that he has attempted to commit multiple times, that he's looking for a reason to live and that i'm his reason to live, i don't want to be responsible for someones death, but i also don't want to stay with him at all. he gets upset some what easily and all of my memories of us talking has always been sexual, i don't know how to put my foot down and say no, and i feel so ashamed of it.
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leeched onto her
Journals & Diaries / by L33CHES
Last post
 December 20th, 2024
...See more hi everyone! i'm leeches, but i truly preferred to be called hills. I wanna use this thread as a diary/journal to vent about my good and bad days or other miscellaneous things i happen to wanna talk about, please refrain from replying!! it'd be greatly appreciated. i'm trying to quit my weed + nicotine addiction, i truly hope i can get myself together and essentially "wake up" so i shouldn't have to be struggling like this anymore. see you soon thread !! 🤍🤍🤍
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Insecurity
General Support / by L33CHES
Last post
 December 14th, 2024
...See more i hate how insecure i am, and i feel so weak because of it. i hate how much i care about what others think besides my own opinions. i truly wish that i wasn't so insecure especially when it comes to my appearance, i'm so insecure of how i look that i have to essentially put on a new face everyday, every morning just so i can feel okay enough to make it through the day without being scared of what other people think, i feel like without makeup though i am nothing. i'm just an ugly whale. i look at my face and others around me and i just wish and yearn i could be half as attractive and secure, my makeup at the same time is not only my mask, but it's my comfort too, i feel so safe when i do my makeup, because i feel like i'm drawing on my dream face, but at the same time it hinders me, if i wake up for school late at all, i always have to beg to go to school late just so i have enough time to do my makeup and i feel so ashamed of it, i look at other kids my age and i wonder, where are my priorities truly at ? idk i have so many things i feel as if i've put on my plate and it's hurting me a lot right now, i feel so insecure at the fact that i deal with addiction problems, but other kids my age rarely do, why am i not normal ?
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Why do I always turn back to the thing that hurts me most?
Addiction Support / by L33CHES
Last post
 December 14th, 2024
...See more I feel like such a horrid and terrible person, I want to find that push to find a way to truly get fully off of marijuana and nicotine. Yesterday I had a bad incident at school where I greened out so severely and badly I had to get EMS called for me and have my vitals checked, I remember being so scared laying in that cot in the nurse's office, but I felt so safe and loved at the same time by people who are just doing their jobs in the medical field. But that support and love is the same kind I feel from weed but of course no matter what I say I'm going to do to change I always turn back and let everyone around me down by telling them another lie of "I'm going to change !" I just want to be able to truly be at peace without being dead, but I'm setting myself up for constant suffering anyways.
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