i need help regarding my bf.
so i recently got with my bf, he's nice and all, but i felt forced to like him back and i dug myself into a deep deep hole.....every "i love you" "i miss you" that i tell to him feels so forced and un genuine, and i do recognize that i should've just let the guy know that i didn't want to date at all really. everything i talk to him about or tell him about are things i think he likes to hear and i do know its bad because im technically leading him on, i didn't have any intention to do so whatsoever. i want to end things before we get too far into our relationship, but i don't know how to do it without it resulting in him getting hurt. he's severely depressed and has told me previously that he has attempted to commit multiple times, that he's looking for a reason to live and that i'm his reason to live, i don't want to be responsible for someones death, but i also don't want to stay with him at all. he gets upset some what easily and all of my memories of us talking has always been sexual, i don't know how to put my foot down and say no, and i feel so ashamed of it.
@L33CHES
Hello there.
I understand this is a difficult and complicated situation for you. It's easy to get ourselves into situations we didn't mean to be in, and it can be tough to get out of them without hurting the other person. It can happen to all of us without having any bad intentions. You seem like a very kind and caring person. I see so much self-awareness when reading through what you posted. That is impressive and something to be proud of. 💕
What I hear is that you seem to feel a lot of responsibility and concern for your boyfriend and what he might do if you break up with him. That is a heavy weight to carry on your shoulders.
You say he gets upset easily and I understand how that can be uncomfortable to deal with. How do you feel about having a conversation with him about this, maybe in a public space where you feel safe?
so this was made somewhat awhile ago, i did end up breaking up with him, but you gave me some really good advice, i'll keep that in mind for future reference though 🤍
@L33CHES
How are you feeling now when it is done?
I hope you feel a little better 💕
i feel like i got liberated, like a bird got freed from a small cage.
@L33CHES
That is a good feeling. 😊
Oh OK if you broken up with him and u feel so much liberated that means everything went's on well
Hi girl u asking for advice I guest you may already have your personal advice
One cannot advise you on such
I feel your pain
I know how it is
And it not an easy thingwhat work for me might not for u
Take some time and reflect on yourself and about your relationship
It true u have
The way you love him before and the way you were attracted by him has change
Try defining your purpose and check of what change
Try to talk things and change with him
You already know what you need to do, and the fact that you recognize this situation isn’t right for you means you’re already stronger than you think. You don’t love him, and forcing yourself to stay won’t fix that, it’ll only hurt both of you more in the long run.
Now, about him. I know you care about his well-being, but love isn’t supposed to feel like an obligation. Maybe he loves you, and maybe he thinks he loves you, but that might just be because he’s in a really dark place and clinging to the one thing that feels safe(you). That’s not love, that’s desperation, and staying in a relationship built on that will only make things worse for both of you. He needs real help, not a forced relationship.
If you feel comfortable staying in his life as a friend to support him healthily, that’s a kind thing to do. But if it’s too much for you, that’s okay too. You are not his therapist. You are not responsible for his struggles. His mental health is not your burden to carry.
And about saying no, you need to stop trying to be someone you’re not just to make others comfortable. Your feelings matter. You don’t owe anyone an act. If something doesn’t feel right, you have the right to walk away. The world doesn’t need a version of you that’s pretending, it needs the real you. And the real you deserve to be in relationships where love is mutual, not something you feel forced into.
So be honest, be direct, and stand by your decision. No guilt, no second guessing. You’re doing what’s right, and that takes courage.
I've been in a similar situation and i think you really need to talk with him about it. I'm sure it'll help you if write it down first and be honest with him. Maybe you can call your best friend or your mother for emotional support and talk to them first. I hope you'll get outta this and he understands you. Luv u 🫶🏻
