L6084 Member Profile

...See more My bf of a year and half broke up four days ago and it's killing me. I'm trying to numb myself with work. Sometimes it ll work but sometimes I'll find myself checking my phone to see if he messaged which is a habit when we were dating. We d message on my break , messaging him whenever anything happened whether it d be funny, sad or happy. Habit of sharing a facebook article or instagram post with him. I find myself checking to see if he's online and then I see him online and then I'm confused. Why did I check ? I knew I couldn't talk to him. When I'm going for a walk or drive, I'm constantly checking if I see him or his car. Every time I turn into my street I'm hoping not and praying that he's in my drive way. I know a 110% he won't be there but I'm still hoping. Does that make me delusional? I always thought he was the one . We talked of having a future together. This was so real for us . I was the first gf he's brought home to his parents and same goes for me . I keep having dreams of us making up but then I wake up immediately after and can't fall asleep after. I've been getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night and going to a stressful job after such poor sleep is definitely not good. We both know we love each other very much but I guess timing is not right ? He feels that I'm all successful and he's holding me because he can't get anywhere in life. So he feels in order to move forward in his life , he needs to make a drastic change and that drastic changes starts by dropping me :(

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