He was the one
My bf of a year and half broke up four days ago and it's killing me. I'm trying to numb myself with work. Sometimes it ll work but sometimes I'll find myself checking my phone to see if he messaged which is a habit when we were dating. We d message on my break , messaging him whenever anything happened whether it d be funny, sad or happy. Habit of sharing a facebook article or instagram post with him. I find myself checking to see if he's online and then I see him online and then I'm confused. Why did I check ? I knew I couldn't talk to him. When I'm going for a walk or drive, I'm constantly checking if I see him or his car. Every time I turn into my street I'm hoping not and praying that he's in my drive way. I know a 110% he won't be there but I'm still hoping. Does that make me delusional? I always thought he was the one . We talked of having a future together. This was so real for us . I was the first gf he's brought home to his parents and same goes for me . I keep having dreams of us making up but then I wake up immediately after and can't fall asleep after. I've been getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night and going to a stressful job after such poor sleep is definitely not good. We both know we love each other very much but I guess timing is not right ? He feels that I'm all successful and he's holding me because he can't get anywhere in life. So he feels in order to move forward in his life , he needs to make a drastic change and that drastic changes starts by dropping me :(
@L6084
Hi. It doesnt sound like you are delusional, it sounds like you are hurting from a breakup you didnt want. When that happens we grieve our hopes and dreams for what we thought was going to be. That hurts. It sucks going through breakups and youre right you need to get some more sleep. Trying relaxig yourself before bed- drink some tea, take a bath, journal your thoughts and feelings to release them.
@ali1112
Thank you for the advice ! I've actually been keeping a journal , writing down things that made me smile or I'm grateful for and it seems to help :)
@L6084
I feel your pain and I was in the exact place you are now. You're not delusional, you're just holding on to hope but until you let go of that hope of him coming back, you won't be able to move on. You'll eventually get out if the habits you're in with time. He's probably doing it too. It'll be a long and tough journey but you will survive it. Maybe getting support from friends and family will help? I wish you well.
@L6084
@L6084
I'm so sorry
Youre definitely not alone. I relate so much to this post. Me and my boyfriend were together 2+ years and he broke up with me the day before we were meant to sign for a house to buy together.
I constantly check when he was last online. It drives me crazy not being able to just tag him in something I know he'd like or just ask how work is. I really do feel your pain.
message me if you need to, it's so difficult when you both still love each other
sending big hugs xxx