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LanaNI
204 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2023 Member sinceAugust 19, 2023
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At 36 yo, I can't still possibly be this impulsive...but I am.
Personality Disorders Support / by LanaNI
Last post
 August 25th, 2023
...See more I'm a 36yo, single queer woman of color just living life without a sense of purpose and always looking to fulfill my voice. Ok, classic BPD, I know but I am really struggling. I left my apartment after spending 10 days with a woman I barely know in a different state. Fortunately, I work from home and have licensure in this state. But I have legit been here since mid June. I literally just dropped everything to be in her presence. I don't even know if I like her. But a new city and a new adventure is driving me right now. She also cooks for me and caters to me...I love the attention she gives me. It's the nurturing I've always wanted and she rarely asks for reciprocality. Why would I go back to being lonely in my own apartment? I have a pattern of portraying myself as a naive, charismatic, and alluring woman, then cling on to someone I can make fall for me. Once that person falls for me, I insert myself into their entire life. They usually let me. And then once I get bored or they get tired of me, I move on to the next one. Sigghh I wish I could just settle for safe, stable, and loving relationships.
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