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Lanistarr04
17,279
L Intermediate 2
5.0 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings67 Number of reviews19 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceJan 9, 2018 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderFemale PathStep 168 People helped103 Chats198 Group support chats1 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes33
Bio

Hi.. I been through somethings myself.. And i will love to help you.. I really enjoy helping people. And letting people see how wonderful and unique they are.

Never give up ;;;;;

Recent forum posts
My trauma abuse diary
Trauma Support / by Lanistarr04
Last post
 March 27th, 2018
...See more I am not looking for pity or people to feel bad. Im putting this out for people to know there not alone. And cause maybe sharing my story will help me heal. Waking up to basically a new life i didnt know it at the time but evrything in my seven year old life was fixing to change.I woke up to screaming my Nana died the only person i loved in the world since me and my mom never got along. The police came and department of social services came. They told me i had to get my sister and leave my house.They bought me to this room with some toys and all i can rember is me screaming no and go away. They kept me there almost all night and then they bought me to this place with all new people.They told me to go to my room and be queit i stayed in the room only leaving to go to school.Then the social worker came along and was like its time to go somewhere else . My aunt and uncle drove about 8 hours to come get us.It was okay there i rembere thinking they are rich life is good and alot of good things i was 7 everything was new and amazing then.But one day while my uncle was away at work something change my aunt started beating me . I was 8 years old i started thinking how i cant trust any one it still lasts to this day of me trusting people. The abuse got so bad at one point when i was 10 i grabed a belt and legit thought about sucide. It lasted a year of abuse and me thinking life was worth it. Then all of a sudden my uncle filed for divorce. My aunt was like i cant handle yall. I was happy to be honest no more abuse no more long nights crying i thought i was free but then everything got worse.I went back to my mom and she blamed me for everything. We was fighting one day and she choked me i called the cops i went to foster care for 7 months and then i went home. I turned 12 i was home for a few months then my mom lost her house we was homeless. We ended up going to foster care again. While i was there i was touched in a bad way. I was so tried of going back and forth and getting hurt. I started cutting it was a little bit at first then it got worse.I was there for 7 or 8 months and i went back to my mom. The sucide attempts got worse i litterly tried everyhting i could think of to die.My cutting got extermly worse. I started paryting doing drugs and running away from home anything i could think would work to escape what was happening. I was 13 and 14 hiding a really big secert.... i was getting raped almost daily by these neighbor hood boys ages 16-27. I know i should of fought harder but i was young and stupid and they had guns and was alot bigger than me it had to have happen over 50 or more time cause it lasted for almost a year it started in november and i told a few days before halloween.The abuse stopped when i got arrested for fighting and getting caught with drugs they was doing a strip search and they saw bruises on my hips and sides from being hold down and they asked me what happened.Of course i broke down and told them. I told them i couldnt come home cause they or the people they know and family would kill me or make my life hell.So they told my mom and we moved to a different state.Thats where i am today i am now 15. Me and mom still fight alot sometimes it phyiscal she still blames me. I found a reason to live so i havent tried to end my life and i havent cut for a few weeks now. Everyday gets a little bit easier but everyday is a new day filled with new oppertuintys i know i cant stay in the past so im trying to forget what happen and grow stronger from it. I still have nightmares and i can feel it happening again but there getting better life is getting better.
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she's great. I get a really good vibe
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really useful. helped alot
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cool chick
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Categories
Depression
Anxiety
Self-Harm
Forgiveness
Social Anxiety
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
PTSD
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