Lavenderfolly Member Profile

...See more I just need to get this out because I'm so hurt. Some backround...I have PTSD due to childhood sexual and physical abuse. I'm adult age now and was living with my mother up until last year in May. When she got drunk, then attacked me, then kicked me out of her house. Besides the trauma i've experienced in my life, that alone was traumatizing in itself. After that happened I was able to get some of my belongings from her. Most of my cloths. But she still has a few personal things that mean a lot to me and one of those is my cat. Now we are in present day, a year later from being kicked out of my mom's house and I have gone no-contact with her due to her toxicity. I still have not receieved some of my belongings from her and she still has my beloved cat. I have been Best Friends with someone for over two years. We called each Soul Sisters, that's how close we are. We know everything about each other. Two weeks ago my Best Friend told me she was adopting a cat. Inadverdently this triggered me. It wasn't just that I miss my cat or the fact that my mom still has her, it was the association from my cat, to my mom and then reminder of the abuse. I let my best friend know what was happening as she was going on excitedly about this cat and she seemed to understand and felt bad for causing a trigger. I assured it was fine and that I was so happy she was adopting a cat. I told her I had to log off for a bit and that I would talk to her later. I tried to leave things in as good spirits as possible. Once I logged off, the flashbacks became severe. I was in a triggered state for many days and fell into a deep depression. Then summer semester in college started and I was swamped with work ask I've been on leave from college for about 7 years now. Work became extremely crazy and stressful due to COVID protocols. My brother had reached out to me asking me to reconcile with my mother. One thing after another. It was too much. In the midst of that I deactivated my messenger and my FB account. I needed to be away from Social Media. Its been two weeks as of today and I felt better. I logged in to my account and the first post I saw in my News Feed was from my Best Friend and she said "IS LOSING A FRIENDSHIP OVER A CAT WORTH IT? YES. " and then in the comments people were asking what she meant and she was explaining how i'd been triggered because I could not be with my cat, and how it was stupid. The people were commenting that I was probably never a true friend to her and saying I should have just been happy for her. She was commenting and liking all these posts. I instantly messaged her and expressed my hurt at what she'd done. I have not heard from her yet because she is currently living abroad and there is a huge time difference. But yeah. I am sure our friendship is over now because this was inexcusable. She mocked my mental illness even while knowing everything i've gone through. I just needed to get this out. I feel so betrayed and embarrassed about how she put me out there for public shame.

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