My Best Friend Triggered My PTSD
I just need to get this out because I'm so hurt. Some backround...I have PTSD due to childhood sexual and physical abuse.
I'm adult age now and was living with my mother up until last year in May. When she got drunk, then attacked me, then kicked me out of her house. Besides the trauma i've experienced in my life, that alone was traumatizing in itself. After that happened I was able to get some of my belongings from her. Most of my cloths. But she still has a few personal things that mean a lot to me and one of those is my cat.
Now we are in present day, a year later from being kicked out of my mom's house and I have gone no-contact with her due to her toxicity. I still have not receieved some of my belongings from her and she still has my beloved cat.
I have been Best Friends with someone for over two years. We called each Soul Sisters, that's how close we are. We know everything about each other. Two weeks ago my Best Friend told me she was adopting a cat. Inadverdently this triggered me. It wasn't just that I miss my cat or the fact that my mom still has her, it was the association from my cat, to my mom and then reminder of the abuse. I let my best friend know what was happening as she was going on excitedly about this cat and she seemed to understand and felt bad for causing a trigger. I assured it was fine and that I was so happy she was adopting a cat. I told her I had to log off for a bit and that I would talk to her later. I tried to leave things in as good spirits as possible. Once I logged off, the flashbacks became severe. I was in a triggered state for many days and fell into a deep depression. Then summer semester in college started and I was swamped with work ask I've been on leave from college for about 7 years now. Work became extremely crazy and stressful due to COVID protocols. My brother had reached out to me asking me to reconcile with my mother. One thing after another. It was too much. In the midst of that I deactivated my messenger and my FB account. I needed to be away from Social Media.
Its been two weeks as of today and I felt better. I logged in to my account and the first post I saw in my News Feed was from my Best Friend and she said "IS LOSING A FRIENDSHIP OVER A CAT WORTH IT? YES. " and then in the comments people were asking what she meant and she was explaining how i'd been triggered because I could not be with my cat, and how it was stupid. The people were commenting that I was probably never a true friend to her and saying I should have just been happy for her. She was commenting and liking all these posts.
I instantly messaged her and expressed my hurt at what she'd done. I have not heard from her yet because she is currently living abroad and there is a huge time difference. But yeah.
I am sure our friendship is over now because this was inexcusable.
She mocked my mental illness even while knowing everything i've gone through.
I just needed to get this out. I feel so betrayed and embarrassed about how she put me out there for public shame.
@Lavenderfolly
That's so awful. I'm so sorry to hear that. I would feel betrayed too. Especially since you were so close before! And especially since you are dealing with plenty of other stressful things, I'm guessing you might have really needed her as a support system, not as someone whose actions are making you feel worse.
I hope your friend responds positively. 
Has your friend known how tough these past two weeks have been for you? I only ask because I wonder if maybe she isn't aware of just how upset you have been. If the last time she saw you was two weeks ago when you said you were triggered but were trying to stay in good spirits, and then she just hasn't heard anything from you at all since (which is totally understandable because you've had a ton going on, but she may not know that), I wonder if maybe she thought you were avoiding her and thought you didn't want to be friends anymore or something? This could be totally wrong, I'm just speculating and trying to see things from her perspective.
Again I'm so sorry that this all happened. :,(
@Lavenderfolly _ I pray that you are doing well and offer this perspective since I also have PTSD
Been a while since I've been on here but felt the need to weigh in since I also have severe PTSD and am sometimes very easily triggered by those I love and who love me. As an example, I cannot watch shows with violence, listen to or watch fireworks, or be in confrontational situations for extended period (or even setting where people just naturally yell when they are speaking). Others (including my spouse of 20+ years) do not always understand. HOWEVER THIS IS MY REALITY. Key word "MY". I'm living the nightmare daily.
I used to be extremely offended by others not understanding but what I understand now is that people cannot fully understand or empathize with what they've never experienced. As a coping mechanism I tend to isolate or avoid situations where these things are present (this includes making up excuses why I can't attend events or sometimes showing up at the tail end of them). This has made others inadvertently feel as if they were being rejected and the downstream impact is that I don't get invited events as frequently as I used to.
Friendships are valuable and rare. While your friend may have handled this improperly the person may very well have been expressing their hurt in the only way that they knew how. You mentioned that you told your friend that you needed to log off for a while. How long did you log off for before you contacted this person again? If you logged off for an extended period, your friend may have felt rejected for something that was unintentionally done.
Sounds like your friend is ALSO hurting and while you both may agree to dissolve the friendship. I caution you (as your fellow PTSD survivor) to consider as I've had to do that we must continue to work through our own therapy to deal with our illness/ protect our mental health. However, we must be equally as vigilant about finding a way to balance the relationships in our lives or we will end losing most or all of them.
I sincerely wish you all the best and pray that GOD helps you two to get through this difficult time. It is my personal belief the confusion and division are tricks the adversary uses (during spiritual warfare) to seperate us from the very people that GOD placed in our lives for support. -- That's a whole another discussion.
Anyway, really sounds like you two had a beautiful relationship that may be worth saving. Just whispered a prayer for you both.
Blessed wishes