Lilyfmm775 Member Profile

...See more About 2 years ago I gained some weight so I decided to go on a diet to lose it. I started to count calories and exercise at home, I used to eat about 1200 calories everyday and everything was fine for a while. Not sure when something changed but at a certain point I started to refuse to eat non planned meals, to get headaches and light headed and to get easily irritated by the smallest things. I also started to binge, in particular in days where I could not count calories because for example I was obligated to eat outside. Of course I then tried to balance it the day after going for long walks and eat half the calories. During all this my weight kept going down so I coped with it until a day I had kind of a mental breakdown (?), i started crying and could barely breath, I don't even remember what triggered it. I decided to slowly increase my calories and subscribe to a gym but, although I binge less I still do it. And the worst is that I can't stop counting calories, I don't know how to do it. I lost all the weight and I'm still not satisfied with my body. 3 days ago I ate more than my normal calories and I could not stop, I've been eating less during these days. I'm currently a bit underweight and I want to gain muscles but I can't bring myself to eat more. I feel like I have to plan my life around food and it's exhausting, I'm tired. Thanks to everyone who will read this.

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