Lmh18 Member Profile

...See more HiNew to 7 cups simply for some HELP. In need of other opinions so I know it's not completely biased like my family or friends. My now as of two weeks ago ex were together for 3 years. We met in nursing school. We graduated together. As we started looking for our first "real" jobs as nurses he decided to look out of state. We discussed moving to another state for a nurse residency program- a good option for new nurses. He found one he liked! And applied! And didn't tell me until a few weeks after the fact... He also told me that he didn't want me to go with him, like we had originally been talking. Totally crushed, I tried to understand why I had scared him off, his only answer was that it just wasn't something he really wanted at the time. So he got the job, he moved, and immediately regretted telling me he didn't want me there. He had a horrible first few months on his own. But at the same time I was glad he was finally doing something on his own, without his parents holding his hand. Our relationship was fine for a while but then it started to get very difficult. We started to fight a LOT. I was feeling unappreciated and like he was putting in zero effort to be a boyfriend (I know hard to with the distance but like it changed). He was feeling like I always nagged him about not doing/saying the right thing. It basically got to the point over the past year where he feels he can do nothing right and so has admitted to not putting effort into the relationship. He finally started making some friends these past few months that happen to be all girls. Not my favorite thing but I'm not really the jealous type. Until he started going on ski trips with these girls without telling me where they were going or even who he was with or really anything about them. I know if I went skiing with 5 guys he'd have an issue... My last visit to see him we got in huge fight over his phone. I needed to borrow his, mine had died, and he got automatically defensive when I asked if I could use it. He was sitting right next to me. He had never acted that way before... One of the worst fights we've had. He never let me see his phone. So it finally got to the point where 2 weeks ago when he was visiting, we talked about what we were going to do. How there hasn't been any talk of a future and it's bothering me. October his 2 year contract will be up and he could come home but all the sudden he sounded uninterested to do so. When we started talking he feared that our relationship wouldn't be able to recover. That at this point he feels so not good for me, and I feel like I'm too needy too much for him, so we ended it. Two days after he left he sent me ticket information how he was going to come in April and in May because he can't do this and wants to show me that we can make it work, that he can't lose me... We start talking on and off but I tell him we need our space, I agreed to dinner when he gets here in April and then tried to stop talking with him. Well three days ago he was on my doorstep unannounced. He wanted to show me how much he misses me, told me how badly he's messed up in letting me feel like I'm not being treated right, how he'll pay for me to move there with him, how he wants to be with me more than anything and is ready to move our relationship forward. Completely shocked me. We proceeded to have two amazing days together before he left, so loving, exactly how I've missed it being, and I was basically ignoring the conversation we needed to have. But I stood my ground and told him that I still need my space and absolutely no talking this time until I reach out to him first. And since he's been gone he's stuck to it. I just am so torn between moving out there, giving this one more shot, trying "real life" together or just not even bothering. I think even if it didn't work out it still would be a good job experience for me.... But there's also this part of me that is hesitant. It makes me feel like he's still being self centered making me pick up my whole life to be with him there instead of him coming back here. I am so completely confused on what to do, how conflicted I feel, and what to do about it. I love him, he's a great guy, but I don't know if he will change like he says. He is my best friend though and I am missing him horribly. It's hard to picture me being with anyone but him. People don't change though right... I seriously thought I was going to marry him.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Sarah Robb is an LICDC (Licensed Independent Chemical Dependency Counselor)....

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio