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Lonelinessisforever
210 M Embraced 2
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2019 Member sinceJuly 5, 2017
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It's consuming Me
Depression Support / by Lonelinessisforever
Last post
 July 21st, 2017
...See more I have been lonely for 4 years now. It started when me and my friends started changing. Fast forward two years and I didn't even know where they were at lunch. Last year, I went to a new school. At first I was excited, thinking my loneliness was at an end and I would make new friends. I tried. I really did. But unlike everyone else, I failed. By the time the year was half over, I was reading books in between class so I wasn't 100% surrounded by everyone and their million friends. Of course, if someone actually talked to me, I would at least try to have conversation with them. They would ask me questions to start a conversation (ex. What book are you reading? How many siblings do you have?) and I'd try to respond, but ultimately failing by giving the shortest answer instead of expanding on it. I would try, but I couldn't figure out how in the moment due to my shyness. Last year was was the worst year yet because I didn't even have the friends that ditched me the year before. I honestly wonder if I could ever make friends. I'm paranoid, have major trust issues and I'm super shy. You may say "you made friends before so you can do it again!" Well, you'd be wrong. That was... 9 years ago? And I've changed so much there's just no way I could just use that strategy again. The loneliness is consuming me and there's absolutely nothing I can do. Next year is with the same people who all have developed friendships with each other.
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