Longtermdaydreamer12 Member Profile

...See more My anxiety has been getting worse and worse by the day. I dont know what to do or how to handle it. I am in a constant state of panic and am always on the verge of tears. It gets worse when i have to work in a group or present something to a class in school. I'm always scared of messing up so as a result i procrastinate and avoid school work as long as possible. I mean hey if i dont do it i cant mess up. Im also a perfectionist so everything has to be to my liking or else it isnt good enough My perfectionism applies most towards my art though. You see i am trying to pursue art as a career but am constantly worried i am not good enough. Even if people say that i can get a career in art no problem or even say stuff like you have a lot of talent and potential i cant believe them. I think that everything i do isnt good enough and i sometime even think that im not even worth it...... Then today in school i was panicking really badly and had no idea how to handle it. So i became a bit self destructive. I didnt use my asthma inhaler and then i ate even if i wasnt hungry because i wanted to be sent back home. I just didnt want tol be there. So i ate and ate hoping to throw up but when it didnt work i tried to force myself to throw up. It still didnt work though. So i was forced to go through the day in a panicked state of mind. Now everything is hard though. I have no motivation nor energy for anything. I havent even drawn all day and drawing is my only passion and my only escape. I also have homework and a test tomorrow that i havent studied for but i just have no energy. I just want this to end. Im tired of living in constant fear.😢

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