Loveflyer Member Profile

...See more Hi, I don't know if this belongs here but I'm having a hard time feeling accepted by my husband and his family. I have terrible anxiety which messes with my head giving me a lot of insecurities about my relationships with people. I'm also suspected by my family of being autistic which explains a lot and my inability to form social connections with people and having emotional meltdowns/shutdowns when I feel overwhelmed by everything going on around me etc. I feel super isolated and misunderstood because they don't know what autism is or how it effects me and my behavior. Mental health illnesses are also stigmatized here which makes it very hard for me to explain what I'm struggling with. I'm constantly beating myself up for every mistake I make and I get very depressed afterwards. I feel like I'm defective fundamentally as a person because I can't fit in. I'm very quiet and have a hard time speaking out loud and am extremely shy and nervous around people and can't handle being out in public or I feel overwhelmed by the noise. I don't know how to explain myself to them or why I need my room to myself so I can calm my nerves when I'm having a hard day. I feel like I'm the problem that needs to be fixed and I cry myself to sleep and can't seem to make myself heard when I try to talk to my husband about what I'm feeling. I'm seriously considering seeing a psychologist and getting a proper assessment so I can figure out what I need to do to get better, but I'm scared to ask for help.

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