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Lucyinthesky76
546 M Embraced 4
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceDecember 1, 2022
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Should I stay or should I go?
Relationship Stress / by Lucyinthesky76
Last post
 January 13th, 2023
...See more I recently found out after 7 1/2 years of being married to my husband he has been having an online affair with several women. Most of them are just validation type things, like them sending a selfie picture of themselves and he would tell them they look pretty. There is one however that went beyond that particular fantasy, and they had a Master Slave type thing going on where he would tell her what to do and she would do it. He never sent her any pictures, just instructions mainly. There were several pictures of nudity mostly her chests, and also some video of her ***, but most of the pictures 70% are her wearing fully clothes, but it shows her cleavage. You can tell there wasn't any intimacy between the two of them and she was very aware of me. In fact all of them knew about me and he even told some of them that he was happily married to me and just adores me. However he still continued this Behavior under the stipulation that was only online. He told me himself he didn't think he did anything wrong and he didn't feel that it was considered cheating because I didn't find him in a hotel room. Now of course he sees my side of it he says and he feels very sorry that all of this has happened and he did this to hurt me . He also was contacting his ex-wife and trying to get her to meet up with him, and she would decline every time mentioning that she was aware of the others. That probably also hurt my pride too. So here we are 3 months later and I've decided to do my best to try to stay, for the reasons of Love sure, for the reasons that we have a child together sure, for the reason that does appear it was just online and there's a lot of evidence of that and nothing does show that he physically had met up with them. I'm struggling though. I'm struggling to stay, because no matter how many times he tells me he's sorry or how much he loves me or how willing he is to go to counseling I have this overwhelming feeling that this probably isn't over with. I have checked in his phone over and over again and I do know all the secret spots to look that he doesn't even know, which I'm fully aware of because when I first did find out that he was cheating, it was very obvious where all of these things are and he just didn't even delete things correctly or isn't aware I would have to say. So these are all the excuses I've been using to stay, all the reasons above are the reasons I want to leave and I have been suffering with this decision for 3 months because I'm just still in the middle of all of it. Although I haven't found anything new I do keep on finding old things. I know I've been told to stop looking, but I guess at the same time do you ever really stop. I know you're down the line I will have to look as a check-in at least that's what I keep telling myself. I reached out to my second counselor on here and I've been doing my best to work through this I would love to hear what others feel.
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