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MadeOfSteristrips
99 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceApril 3, 2022
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I’m scared of going home
Eating Disorder Support / by MadeOfSteristrips
Last post
 April 6th, 2022
...See more Hi, I have been struggling in a binge/restrict circle for a while now, but for the past month I think I have been developing Anorexia, I rarely binge, and if I do, it’s not large amounts. I’m not the same kind of hungry that I used to be, I don’t have to try as hard to not eat anymore, restricting feels easy and rewarding. Anyways, I’m going home to my parents for Easter holiday at the end of this week, and my mom tends to make me a lot of food, because she knows I have been struggling with body image ever since growing up and she thinks I’m underweight, although I don’t think we have ever discussed it. I actually feel pretty comfortable with my restricting, I’m finally getting closer to my goal, I don’t feel sick from eating too much anymore. But I’m scared I’ll fall back into that pattern when I’m going home to a kitchen full of my favorite foods. I’m scared I won’t be able to hide my restricting, that I have to eat in front of others. I’m scared I’ll go back to purging. And I’m scared my mom will notice my behavior and relationship around food, when I’ve been telling her I’m doing better. I’m not ready for recovery, but I don’t want another relapse. Not sure what the point of this post is, but I’ve been stressing about going home for a while now and it’s really exhausting.
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