Mandat5 Member Profile

...See more Hey all, I have been with a covert for approx. 12 years and have known he was one for the last 6 years I think. It started off the same as many of the other stories on here. He was perfect to begin with, the perfect partner. Things moved quickly but it felt flattering, we were so in love and he initiated that conversation. Well that was within the first 2 years. Now its a completely different story, he is apparently now unable to commit and say kind things and that's because I 'know what he's like'. He's never been any good at that stuff. I fell in love with the first 2 years guy though and he knew how to do all those things. Im not sure what I am writing here or why I am here other than from utter confusion. I don't understand (still) how someone changes so dramatically, how someone can go from being the perfect partner to someone who now consistently lies, cheats and is unable to take any kind of criticism. I have obviously read a lot about the signs now and the on script behaviour that many partners of coverts go through. The cycles of hoover and discard. I am currently in a discard, this one actually feels pretty final but he wont talk to me. I have a hard time just walking away, I am still stupidly I know wanting to talk about how I am leaving but he wont allow me the opportunity to discuss anything. Anyway, we have his daughter working at our company for work experience this week and she has no clue who he actually is. It has been kind of nice that he has his mask fully back on but I am also terrified for what happens next week. Its been a major wakeup call for me because its made me realise so much more how awful he is to me when it is just me and him. There is always an atmosphere but this past working week there has been no atmosphere because he cannot let her see who he really is. Everyday I have gone and sat on the toilet and cried. How did my life get here from falling in love with someone. I am pretty sure he is talking to another woman, I tried to set boundaries by saying that if that's what he wants to do then that's ok, its his choice to move on but out of respect tell me that's what you want to do and then I can make my decision on where I stay or go. I don't see what is hard about that to understand, he's not very good at hiding his indiscretions, I don't know whether this is done for triangulation so he thinks I will try harder with him or he's just lazy. Either way I have had enough, i thought we could walk away from each other if I stated it clearly and delivered it calmly but he seems to crave the opposite, he needs some kind of drama from me to feel satisfied. Please can I have some insight?

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