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Maple3700
1,257 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts39 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 18, 2019
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How to ease this pain?
Relationship Stress / by Maple3700
Last post
January 19th, 2019
...See more I have struggled in relationships all my life, I am 45 and have no family or friends. My partner of 7 years has just had enough and also walking away. I have very destructive behaviour, I push people away in the belief they don't love me and when the do go I pat myself on the back as I was right. This is now left me alone and can't bear my own company. I suffer anxiety, panic attacks and depression. It has been a week, I can't eat or sleep and am going to end of ill. I need to find a strength to fight on and attempt to fix these issues that have plagued my whole life. I believe I have so low self esteem, no love or even like for myself. I was retired from my job last year as I could no longer cope. My partner and I have been in France (from Scotland) for 6 months on a rural house-sit whereby the owners let you stay in their home whilst they are in Spain for the winter. We have 7 weeks still to go as a commitment was made to these really lovely owners and I will honour that. He ended things on Sunday and since then won't speak or look at me, leaves the room when I come in. I know I am to blame for destroying what was a potentially wonderful relationship and future and I don't really expect much sympathy. But I please need to ease this ache inside, I need to know I can change my life, that I am likeable and loveable and that I will move on to a brighter time.
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