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MarcMcNicol
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PathStep 21 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceJuly 7, 2026
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Marriage falling apart
Relationship Stress / by MarcMcNicol
Last post
 July 27th
...See more Hi I’m new to this so I’m sorry for the long story. My names Marc I’m (32) and my wife (30) we have been together for 12 years married for almost 5 and we have a daughter aged 2. we are both each others first and only relationship. A few months ago my wife said she was unhappy and suggested we have a break from each other. This caught me out of the blue and I immediately asked her if there was someone else. She said no but my suspicions and anxiety got the better of me and I looked through her iPad and found out she’s been having an emotional affair with a work colleague who’s (50) and married also. In a panic I broke down and contacted my mother in law about it. This made my wife angry obviously and I finally confronted her about this and she says nothing has physically happened between them but the messages I found suggest otherwise. It was possibly the worst feeling in my life and I’m still shaken up by it. We are now in couples counselling where I’ve found out she’s been unhappy and feeling neglected since our daughter was born. I can admit on my part that I have been more work and baby focused those 2 years and haven’t put much effort into our relationship that I probably should have and I’ve tried apologising a lot about this. But I fear now that it’s to late as in our sessions she is more set on having space and being just friends and sometimes suggests taking a break/ separating. I’m actually terrified that I’m losing my wife and there’s nothing I can do to salvage things. Anything I do try just seems to push us further apart. I love my wife deeply and can’t bear the thought of bringing my daughter up in a broken family. I don’t know what I’ve done to make my wife hurt me like this and I’m constantly asking myself every day if I’m a bad husband. My anger/guilt aswell makes me want to contact the guys wife because if she found out I’d want her to tell me. but at the same time I don’t want to break up another family as they have 4 kids. Since then I’ve been feeling absolutely defeated and lost. We are still living together etc but we are basically just co existing and I’ve never felt more lonely in my life. I’m basically just working and playing with my daughter now. Any help or suggestions on how I should cope with this would be greatly appreciated. Preferably ones on how to repair my marriage.
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