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MarinaNaSh
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PathStep 4 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceMay 14, 2021
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Exhausting anxiety
Anxiety Support / by MarinaNaSh
Last post
 June 23rd, 2021
...See more Hello guys! I am new here. But not new to anxiety. My first panic attack has happened when I was 15, but nobody really has explained me what was going on with me. My anxiety was getting worse and worse. Even though somehow I graduated from school, got into uni. But have started developing bad agoraphobia. It was hell. Going to uni every day, having panic attacks. There were no CBT psycholosits in my city and psycholosits i was working with didnt really help. After graduating uni I started working from home, there was less of stress but anxiety still was there. I started dating a guy, long distance relationship but he was visiting me pretty often. I was depending on my mother and him... Long story short, that was the toxic relationship and we broke up. Finally I got to that point when I went to psychiatrist and started taking antidepressants and they helped... That 1.5 was amazing. But due to panics and agoraphobia (and then Covid lockdown) I have lost all my friends, my best friend moved to another country. So again I was looking for communication online and have met a guy from another country. My mental health was so good, he and I were planning on meeting but Covid broke our plans. Then he started isolating. He was suffering from depression. But then after 8 months of communication he has confessed me that he is using drugs. I was shocked... But I was helping him, looking for rehab centers, wrote a letter to his dad and he was placed in a rehab. Week before getting out he took away status of being in relationship and I was shocked. After a short conversation he said that yes he started having a crush on some girl in the same rehab. I was smashed. We broke up ofc. After he got away form rehab he said that it was some wrong crush, nothing happened but he is not in a state of being in relationship. And that he has to concentrate on his recovery. My anxiety got back (I stopped taking pills around 4 months ago), now I am taking another but they dont seem to help. I am anxious every day, waking up and feeling nauseous, nervous, anxious. I have never stopped working before. Now i cant concentrate and thinking about my life being over. I really don't know what to do. My bad days of anxiety are back when I thought i was all fine and wont feel this anymore. It is a very long post. I am sorry if someone will read it till the end but I am in such condition when I dont know what to do and cant hold it inside.
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